Devirginizing

....that's not even a proper word, but in MM's self define dictionary, it means the process of letting someone into my life and taking away the virginess, also the moment I laying the first women in my life lol. And yet, as of today September 16 of 2010, that moment has not yet to come...shyt!!
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. People at my age usually have a family, wife, kids, mortgage, loans, STDs,...or anything that make life more colorful and complicated I guess. But for me, life is very simple at the moment. I guess I should blame on myself for not being more socialize I guess. I guess if I have more friends, and friends of my friends, and the whole "networking" kind of life, would that make life more interesting?
I'm having a thought, a bad thought :(
Well, I'm planning to move away, into the big city with all the busy-ness of life. It will be tough because not only I have to support myself, but I also have to support my parents as well. I'm planning of getting 2 jobs if I have to. Along with that, I have to learn my way through the acting crafts. That's a suicidal mission cuz my chance of become a well-known actor is less than winning the lottery...but I will take that chance soon.
But before I go, I want to ask my friend if she can devirginize me first hahaa. I don't know wtf is wrong, but I just feel like a 16 years old boy all the time. Maybe I'm gay or something, shyt, I hope not. But I really want to have an intimate relationship now. I know it sounds really cheesy and corny, but I want to make love, not just raw sex; and I don't feel comfortable with strangers that I meet at the clubs, or bars, or online dating... I only feel comfortable around people I known for a long time; someone I trusted and attracted to. Currently, there is only 1 friend of mine that I can imagine I will make love to, but she already has a bf :( . Making love is more than just sex; it's sex with passion, care, and connection of 2 people through body and soul. Shyt! maybe my concept of making luv is too high; maybe I should hire a hooker and get it over with :/
...anyway, I think I will take the chance and ask her before I leave, despite the fact it will make me a total pig. I wish someone can relate to how I feel right now :(

the lost words

Not in a stubborn way, but I think faith is something vital to our life. It's a principle that we should stick to, no matters what life treating us, never loose faith. Otherwise it wouldn't be called "faith" any more...
I have a friend who I haven't met for 3 years. He used to be my best friend in college. I thought he would be a doctor by now because he was very determined person. But after several years of absent, now he's losing faith in school and become a different person. He cares more about social trend and exotic stuffs now rather than focusing on school. I don't blame him; I guess it's just the matter of balancing between school and social life, and apparently, he didn't do a good job on that.
I don't know. I guess changing is good, especially with the rapid changes in society today. But still, principle are principle and it shouldn't be changed. Same thing go with love and relationships. Being broken hearted once doesn't mean it will happen again; or what the hell, if it does happen again then move on a start it over. The key here is never loose faith in love and the true ascent of love; just have to find someone with the same faith and believes...

I think I will need lots of time to learn this song, and fixing some Vietnamese lyrics of this song. I amazed how a pured romantic love song like this can be translated in to Vietnamese with totally different meaning, which isn't pure anymore