Emotion

Emotion is a strange thing. It hits you when you least expected. It's like playing with flame and sooner or later, you may get burn, unintentionally. Here I am, at the same bench that we used to sit on at Huntington Beach, writing blog with my phone. It's funny how our mind usually play trick on us, giving false hopes that we wish somehow miracle will happen, even that chance is less than zero. Unlike in movies where 2 ppl accidently bump into each other at the place they used to go, realty is a brutal disappointment. It's all started when my friend broke up with her boy friend. She was all sad and everything, so I offered a shoulder to cry on, literally. Thought that by being a good friend, somehow she will see that I like her and want to be with her. Contradictory how my mouth always say that I don't want a relationship cuz I am thinking of moving, well that's a fucking lie cuz I have been saying that for over a year. Like some people usually say "Idleness is the vacation of fools" and I've been a fool for so long :-( Regardless, now my friend, she's dating someone and I feel this deeply sadness that I'm not sure what it is; Is it love or jealousy? If it's love, then why when I asking myself what do I love her for? I can't identify any reason. Is there a noticeable reason for love? Or is there no reason for love? Or perhaps there's no love, only infatuation attraction of sexes. Or perhaps love only exist in motion pictures and love novel. Or maybe I am just jealous for not being on her dating consideration list. For whatever reason, I'll give her a Valentine gift. I hope it won't be an awkward moment :/