Awkward!!
That's right! Have you ever told anyone that you like someone and then feeling awkward? Have you ever wonder why??? It's simple! Emotion and logic don't mix!
As a guy with analytically personality, I always asking the question "Why?" Sometimes it's is a bad habit, because you don't need to know anything in life. You don't need to know how it work, just work it! But just for the sake of my personality, today I'm going to talk about why you should not verbally tell someone you like them (romantically) because it will not going to turn out the way you wanted.
Love/like/impression... emotion are non-logical. It is being wired into left-side of your brain. Verbal/info/literature... logical are being controlled by your right-side of your brain.
A situation I experienced recently is, I miss her, I want to talk to her. But when I call her, I have nothing to say and the phone go silent of awkwardness. Emotionally, I miss her, but when I start talking, logic kick in and ruining the emotion. It's weird how our brain are wired. But nothing we can do, just accept it like it is.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
Doing the right thing...not easy
"Proximity: a physical distance between two people"
If you pay attention, you can sense whether a women is interested in you, through proximity.
Strange enough, lately I can sense a close proximity from my sister in law, and it is freaking me out. I hope my sensor is wrong, but if it is correct, we have a major problem.
Recently, I'm recovering from a from a post-infidelity of a married women at work. Meaning, I separated myself from her before drowning into her sphere of fuck buddies. It wasn't easy, i'm telling ya. Sexual temptation is one of the most powerful force of nature. It can be a torture, one side is moral, and the other side is sexual desire. Even until now, I still feel regret that I didn't take the chance and grab it when I was working with her. I started to make up excuses, such as: well her husband is out of the country, so having sex with her is just therapeutic sex to help her; or she deserves someones better than her husband; or she is currently having affairs with someones so i'm not the only person... the list go on and on. But at the end of the day, when I close my eyes and listen to the sound of silent, my mind go to the most peaceful place, where I find myself standing up like a man without guilt without resentful, I know I have done the right thing.
Maybe it is a good time to move out of the family and start living independently by myself, rather than sharing the bills with my brother. Perhaps, it is time for me to build my own little family. Peace!
If you pay attention, you can sense whether a women is interested in you, through proximity.
Strange enough, lately I can sense a close proximity from my sister in law, and it is freaking me out. I hope my sensor is wrong, but if it is correct, we have a major problem.
Recently, I'm recovering from a from a post-infidelity of a married women at work. Meaning, I separated myself from her before drowning into her sphere of fuck buddies. It wasn't easy, i'm telling ya. Sexual temptation is one of the most powerful force of nature. It can be a torture, one side is moral, and the other side is sexual desire. Even until now, I still feel regret that I didn't take the chance and grab it when I was working with her. I started to make up excuses, such as: well her husband is out of the country, so having sex with her is just therapeutic sex to help her; or she deserves someones better than her husband; or she is currently having affairs with someones so i'm not the only person... the list go on and on. But at the end of the day, when I close my eyes and listen to the sound of silent, my mind go to the most peaceful place, where I find myself standing up like a man without guilt without resentful, I know I have done the right thing.
Maybe it is a good time to move out of the family and start living independently by myself, rather than sharing the bills with my brother. Perhaps, it is time for me to build my own little family. Peace!
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Dating Tips: Never tell a women, she's beautiful
Yes, it is so obvious. But I ran into the same mistake over and over again. And finally I got it. I understand why men should never tell a women she's beautiful (unless after you have sex with her)
As men, we hate it! We hate the gray area, as we are usually black and white. We wired with either Yes or No answer. Ask me why? ...I simply don't know. It's a psychology thing. I read numerous books of dating tips, trick and tacktics, but none of them actually go further and explain why, what are the reason behind each advice. As of today, I will try to explain why men should never tell a women she's beautiful before you have a sexual relationship with her.
You see, women doesn't care how you feel. That's right! She never interested in being "your girl friend", but rather, she want to know how is it going to be, to have you as her boyfriend. Other word, what are you going to bring into the relationship with her, and the tipping point is sex. [News flag here: don't believe what women say; what they say is rational, not true force that driving her to action. She may says one thing, and do a totally different thing. Is that mean she's a liar? leave your comment]
So, when a women agree to have sex with you, that is when she totally trusted you and allow you to breed her eggs, that is when you can tell her she is beautiful, or how much you miss her, or how you feel yada yada... But until then, if you tell her before the tipping point, her intuition will raise up and and kill every bit of attraction she initially had for you. Why? Because of ...INTUITION!
Because we don't believe everything we heard. Think about: billboards, ads, TVs, Youtubes, Commercials... we are bombarded with million messages every day. Do you believe all of them? You don't! How can you blame a women for not believing what you are saying? And why are you saying it? You really truly honestly deadly 1000% saying "You are beautiful" just to express a compliment, or you saying it with a expectation that she will go wild and have sex with you? Naive! She heard it thousands times already.
Why can we compliment she's beautiful after sex? because actions are bigger than words. Does that make sense? If you are not turn on by a women, could you have sex with her? (Unless you're on Viagra). So sex express deep interest on a women, and it means she is beautiful in your eyes. Actions are bigger than words! Words after action are just credits after a movies. Got it?
---------------------
By no mean I'm sharing tips for tricking women into to bed, there is no trickery here. Nor suggesting, forcing women in bed and then tell her she's beautiful. Such behavior are outlaw and should be punish to the highest penalty. But I'm just saying, to those of man who truly in love a woman, where you find her flaws are beautiful and adorable; or you loving someone not by the pre-conception of the "perfect women" or "perfect men" or "Supermodel women" you found on the swimsuit edition. But to those who sincerely find women you love beautiful for who they are, you should never directly compliment her "You are beautiful" too early because it will diminish the attraction's level within her. Of course, there is a saying "Never say never" but base on my personal experience, I would say ...NEVER!
As men, we hate it! We hate the gray area, as we are usually black and white. We wired with either Yes or No answer. Ask me why? ...I simply don't know. It's a psychology thing. I read numerous books of dating tips, trick and tacktics, but none of them actually go further and explain why, what are the reason behind each advice. As of today, I will try to explain why men should never tell a women she's beautiful before you have a sexual relationship with her.
You see, women doesn't care how you feel. That's right! She never interested in being "your girl friend", but rather, she want to know how is it going to be, to have you as her boyfriend. Other word, what are you going to bring into the relationship with her, and the tipping point is sex. [News flag here: don't believe what women say; what they say is rational, not true force that driving her to action. She may says one thing, and do a totally different thing. Is that mean she's a liar? leave your comment]
So, when a women agree to have sex with you, that is when she totally trusted you and allow you to breed her eggs, that is when you can tell her she is beautiful, or how much you miss her, or how you feel yada yada... But until then, if you tell her before the tipping point, her intuition will raise up and and kill every bit of attraction she initially had for you. Why? Because of ...INTUITION!
Because we don't believe everything we heard. Think about: billboards, ads, TVs, Youtubes, Commercials... we are bombarded with million messages every day. Do you believe all of them? You don't! How can you blame a women for not believing what you are saying? And why are you saying it? You really truly honestly deadly 1000% saying "You are beautiful" just to express a compliment, or you saying it with a expectation that she will go wild and have sex with you? Naive! She heard it thousands times already.
Why can we compliment she's beautiful after sex? because actions are bigger than words. Does that make sense? If you are not turn on by a women, could you have sex with her? (Unless you're on Viagra). So sex express deep interest on a women, and it means she is beautiful in your eyes. Actions are bigger than words! Words after action are just credits after a movies. Got it?
---------------------
By no mean I'm sharing tips for tricking women into to bed, there is no trickery here. Nor suggesting, forcing women in bed and then tell her she's beautiful. Such behavior are outlaw and should be punish to the highest penalty. But I'm just saying, to those of man who truly in love a woman, where you find her flaws are beautiful and adorable; or you loving someone not by the pre-conception of the "perfect women" or "perfect men" or "Supermodel women" you found on the swimsuit edition. But to those who sincerely find women you love beautiful for who they are, you should never directly compliment her "You are beautiful" too early because it will diminish the attraction's level within her. Of course, there is a saying "Never say never" but base on my personal experience, I would say ...NEVER!
Friday, March 14, 2014
Emotion is non-logical process
...what the fuck!
I don't understand! maybe it's something not for understanding purpose. I have that anxiety, again! Let's start from the beginning...
I have been entering in business for a while now, almost a year. Been partnering with a more experience broker. She is fairly young, well, 8 years older than me, has 2 kids. Her husband is absence oversea for some legal issue. For that very reason, I always trying to keep a distance from her, physically and emotionally. We never touch, never joking or flirting around. Sometimes thought, I feel her pain and sorrow. Single mom, taking care 2 kids, supporting the whole family and husband oversea. I think sometimes she feel lost and relying on religious to keep her spirit strong. Especially in the business field, that not an easy task. Occasionally, I try to inspire her by giving her recognition.
But lately, something may happen... but anyhow, not my business...
I'm standing on the sideline, as a third person, observing as a movies unfold. But one thing I don't understand... why am I having a rush of anxiety, hotflush, and emotionally about it. Whatever happening is none of my business. but I can't focus. I feel worry, nervous, uneasy and my thoughts wandering. I think, I am jealousing... WHY?
Right now, as I am thinking more about it, I'm more confused. Perhaps, it's nothing but the FEAR OF LOST. Maybe that's it!! It is not feelings or any of those fairy tale stuffs, just a psychological behavior associated to FEAR OF LOST, wooohoo! mystery solved .......i think
I don't understand! maybe it's something not for understanding purpose. I have that anxiety, again! Let's start from the beginning...
I have been entering in business for a while now, almost a year. Been partnering with a more experience broker. She is fairly young, well, 8 years older than me, has 2 kids. Her husband is absence oversea for some legal issue. For that very reason, I always trying to keep a distance from her, physically and emotionally. We never touch, never joking or flirting around. Sometimes thought, I feel her pain and sorrow. Single mom, taking care 2 kids, supporting the whole family and husband oversea. I think sometimes she feel lost and relying on religious to keep her spirit strong. Especially in the business field, that not an easy task. Occasionally, I try to inspire her by giving her recognition.
But lately, something may happen... but anyhow, not my business...
I'm standing on the sideline, as a third person, observing as a movies unfold. But one thing I don't understand... why am I having a rush of anxiety, hotflush, and emotionally about it. Whatever happening is none of my business. but I can't focus. I feel worry, nervous, uneasy and my thoughts wandering. I think, I am jealousing... WHY?
Right now, as I am thinking more about it, I'm more confused. Perhaps, it's nothing but the FEAR OF LOST. Maybe that's it!! It is not feelings or any of those fairy tale stuffs, just a psychological behavior associated to FEAR OF LOST, wooohoo! mystery solved .......i think
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)