Time is the best bleaching ingredient of the mind. How long does it take, is depend on each person. I guest faithful person take longer time, and unfaithful person take shorter. I guess I belong to the faithful kind, or stubborness :)
I wonder how long will she wait for me; or is she even waiting for me lol. I can't really tell. I should named this blog "Phone anxiety part 2" because if I ever make the phone call, every question would have been answered.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Phone anxiety
Fuck! fuck! fuck!
I have this very bad habit, but not knowing how to fix it or go around it. I'm talking about anxiety when making phone calls. When it is a business call, it's fine. But when I am about to dial a personal call, I ended up sending a text D: ... damn it! It happened so many times. Maybe this is a good opportunity to explore deeper in my memory and get rip off this anxiety once and for all.
Yup, it started when I was 19. OMG, it had been 8 years already!!! I first like this girl in college, but I was terribly shy. I couldn't even look in her face straight. I started texting her. In my defend, I wasn't speaking English very well at that time. I felt embarrassed by my accent; it sounded very ignorant. Especially, when texting, I have more time to think about what I want to express. In a sense, it delaying time so I have more time to think. Maybe because, I don't have a good social skills and afraid of uncomfortable silence. Wow, it does work!! I have never given much thoughts about it. Now that I'm thinking more about it, it start making sense now. It's all in my head. For any habit, there are reasons behind it, and we just have to dig deep enough and expose truth. It's like a rash; we have scratch it at the right location and apply anti-itching cream hahaha
Action steps: ( I can't change my past, nor promise for future outcomes. I can only change my perception and the way I think)
1) MY ACCENT IS SEXY. cuz many actors have to learn to do fake accent; i'm all natural hahaha
2) TALKING IS JUST TALKING SH!T. it doesn't need a topic for a good conversation. Conversation flow like water in the river. The less restriction, the smoother it flow so no holding back.
3) I have learned advance conversation skills that most people are not even aware of :)
Wohoo!
I have this very bad habit, but not knowing how to fix it or go around it. I'm talking about anxiety when making phone calls. When it is a business call, it's fine. But when I am about to dial a personal call, I ended up sending a text D: ... damn it! It happened so many times. Maybe this is a good opportunity to explore deeper in my memory and get rip off this anxiety once and for all.
Yup, it started when I was 19. OMG, it had been 8 years already!!! I first like this girl in college, but I was terribly shy. I couldn't even look in her face straight. I started texting her. In my defend, I wasn't speaking English very well at that time. I felt embarrassed by my accent; it sounded very ignorant. Especially, when texting, I have more time to think about what I want to express. In a sense, it delaying time so I have more time to think. Maybe because, I don't have a good social skills and afraid of uncomfortable silence. Wow, it does work!! I have never given much thoughts about it. Now that I'm thinking more about it, it start making sense now. It's all in my head. For any habit, there are reasons behind it, and we just have to dig deep enough and expose truth. It's like a rash; we have scratch it at the right location and apply anti-itching cream hahaha
Action steps: ( I can't change my past, nor promise for future outcomes. I can only change my perception and the way I think)
1) MY ACCENT IS SEXY. cuz many actors have to learn to do fake accent; i'm all natural hahaha
2) TALKING IS JUST TALKING SH!T. it doesn't need a topic for a good conversation. Conversation flow like water in the river. The less restriction, the smoother it flow so no holding back.
3) I have learned advance conversation skills that most people are not even aware of :)
Wohoo!
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Negative energy
Perhaps I spend too much time inside my head; planning, analyzing, judging, and never taking any action. Perhaps my thoughts dictate what outcomes I am having today. Perhaps I'm just thinking too much. Of course, it is about to get cheesy :)
Unconditional is a big word. It's mean "nothing". How can there be something in life that is for nothing. Almost impossible. And as usual, there is always something for anything... I'm taking about a friend of mine. She is a bit older than me, but we can be considered the same age. Ever time we hang out, she would like me to pay for everything; it makes her very happy. There were sometimes, she insist paying, but again, it makes her very happy when I insist paying instead. To make the long story short, this is the last time I hang out with her. Period.
When someones is trying to extract something from you, that person become a negative energy of your life. Regardless of whatever it is. And the only way to avoid negative energy is to stay away from that energy's black-hole. I certainly not ditching a friend because of money issue, but because of how greediness her personality is. Whenever we have a conversation about money, her eyes lighten up like a flashlight. It scares me sometimes. Maybe there was/is something in her life that made her desperate for financial secure. Or perhaps, many trillions other reasons that make up her personality today.
It's a jungle of people out there, and it is hard to find someones with an unconditional heart. Maybe it is impossible. but I still believing because i'm a cheesy believer :)
Unconditional is a big word. It's mean "nothing". How can there be something in life that is for nothing. Almost impossible. And as usual, there is always something for anything... I'm taking about a friend of mine. She is a bit older than me, but we can be considered the same age. Ever time we hang out, she would like me to pay for everything; it makes her very happy. There were sometimes, she insist paying, but again, it makes her very happy when I insist paying instead. To make the long story short, this is the last time I hang out with her. Period.
When someones is trying to extract something from you, that person become a negative energy of your life. Regardless of whatever it is. And the only way to avoid negative energy is to stay away from that energy's black-hole. I certainly not ditching a friend because of money issue, but because of how greediness her personality is. Whenever we have a conversation about money, her eyes lighten up like a flashlight. It scares me sometimes. Maybe there was/is something in her life that made her desperate for financial secure. Or perhaps, many trillions other reasons that make up her personality today.
It's a jungle of people out there, and it is hard to find someones with an unconditional heart. Maybe it is impossible. but I still believing because i'm a cheesy believer :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)