These are either-or's plans. I wish I can make up my mind :/
Plan A: Back to school for pharmacy
Pros:
- More stable life after 35
- More respectful
- Fit personality
- More likely to find a future wife
- More predictable
Cons:
- Study hardcore next 6 years
- Won't make positive income till 35
- less joy and more stress
- jack-in-the box
- quiet life
-
Doable level: Hard
Plan B: Getting a full time job
Pros:
- Possible saving $10k/year
- possible small business investment
- Supporting current family
- less stress
- no rapid change
Cons:
- Hard to find job after 35
- less respectful
- possibly be bald and single
- no exciting future
-
Doable level: Medium
Plan C: Moving to LA acting
Pros:
- More color of life
- More social life
- More on the road
- More ridiculously fun
Cons:
- Unpredictable
- possibly be broke
- no money, no honey
- unknown name until 35-65
- no experience
- risk of terror/earthquake
- always hunting for jobs
Doable level: Very hard
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
pure love
Tonight thanksgiving is a total awkward moment. I felt more isolated more than ever. Maybe it was the same way as it was before; maybe I felt this way is because I care more, or maybe the distance between me and my relatives grow further as we haven't get together for several years. Either way, there are miles gap between me and my cousins, those were born and grow up here. It seems like we have nothing in common, nothing at all, from hobbies to interests...nothing. Only me and my brother share the conversation with each other. Then my nieces and nephew came up. Gods, I miss the old day when we use to live together, running and playing with each other. Now they all become teenagers with nowadays trend and style. My oldest niece is in college now. She may finish school before I do, oh crap! She is the most beautiful girl I ever met. I know I know; she's my niece; there's not suppose to be feelings between us bla bla lol. But feelings are just feelings, at that very moment, and I would be lying if I deny it. Anyway, it was a wonderful feelings; a feeling of happiness that so hard to describe. From the way she smile, the blinking of her eyes, her hair,...everything of her is so beautiful. It was a weird feeling, and I think it's love. Not a romantic love, but the kind of love that I would not hesitate to scarify myself to save her (if I see a bullet coming her way). It's a feeling that I rarely encounter. Then there was a random guy came up and calling my niece "babe". I wanted to sock him on the face so bad because I hate those guys who hitting on girls and calling babe. But of course, she is a growing up now and I can't do nothing much to protect her anymore. Only wish all the best will happen to her, amen!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
"Every ending is a new beginning"
...I don't recall where did I heard that wisdom, but I believe that it's true. Ending something is an opening for something else. I'm talking about my friendship here. I have a best friend that I usually hang out with. I'm not going to sit here and drag about things I like or don't like about him. I just find that, many people that I hang out with, or surrounded with, are unproductive people. Unproductive in a sense that they don't want to work hard and expect great things come to them; including money, goods, relationship, career, social life....laziness. Life is an equal game. If you put great effort on something, you will get great result in return. If you're too lazy then don't sit there and whining about not making progress because progress doesn't grow on tree. I don't know, I just feel angry right now because I'm not making any progress in life. Maybe it's because of me, or maybe because of many negative people that I'm associating with. Either way, farewell my friend, and hope that you'll grow up!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
5 most essential apps for Android
While it's hard to claim something is more essential than the others because everyone has different taste and point of view; For example, someone may say milk is essential to our daily life, while I find it's hard to accept because I don't like drinking milk and I'm doing fine without it ...though I have weak arms, couple of bone fractures, and diagnosed with calcium deficiency D: ...but anyway, there are 5 Android Apps that I think very essential, or at least, very essential to me as I should say, and I can't live happily without them. I think they should be included as standard default applications.
1) Timeriffic - an app to set your droid behave differently in different period of time (ring, vibrate, airplan mode)
2) Missed call - a custom notification for missed call, text, voice mail, etc.
3) Astro Pro - file explorer, task manager, zipper.
4) iGo 8 - gps navigation software, without internet or data plan
5) SMS Wishes - sms text messaging scheduler
So why are they essential? I'll discuss that in a bit, but first let me tell ya my first impression bout Android. I used to be a big fan of Windows Mobile phones, but now I know why Win Mobile is falling behind the competitions; it's not fingers friendly. For anything on Windows Mobile phone, you will need a stylus, a pen, or a toothpick, or something pointy. Thanks to SPB Mobile Shell, which made it a bit easier on the finger, but still, most applications on Win Mobile were not designed for fingers use. On the other hand, Android (or even iPhone) doesn't require pointy fingers, in fact, it doesn't work if you use a pen or stylus on the touch screen; just stick your thumbs on it, or better yet, stick the whole tongue on it and it will work better.
Ok, back to the topic :D
1) Timeriffic
Ok I'm not sure about you, but cellphone reception is spooky. It tilts the VGA monitor screen if you put cellphone close to the monitor; it generates weird noises if you place it close to a speaker; it alternates the compass pole if you place the compass between 2 cellphones and make a call. While no one can prove that cellphone wave is unhealthy or not, I certainly don't like to keep it bouncing back a forth in my room while I'm sleeping. Timeriffic does a terrific job of managing automatic airplane mode (save battery), ringer, phone profile, and more. Just set your desire time for whichever action you want your phone to perform as a routine and it will do it automatically. It work best compare to other apps, doesn't matter if your phone is rooted or not, and best of all ...it's FREE
2) Missed call
Missed call should be a standard features on an Android. It lets you customize the notification of missed call, incoming sms, incoming call, voice mail. Customize how often it should repeat notification until you notice; it even let you control the LED blinking light and its color WOW! I thought LED color is a hardware thing, but turn out its color can be changed ...interesting!
3) Astro Pro
I was surprised that Android doesn't have a built-in file explorer, which is really silly thing for a smartphone. Maybe my Android (1.6) version is old or something. Maybe it will be included in future release. But for now, Astro remain the best appp for file explorer compare to other apps. It's more stable, quicker, and recognize SD card better than others. It has more features than just file explorer, but I haven't fully explore it yet.
4) iGo 8 Navigation for Android
The Google Maps is a great app. It has a broad database of virtually anything you need to find on the road. But for someone who doesn't have a data plan like me, Google Maps is useless. Even if I do have a data plan, it becomes useless when I go up the mountain or in the desert where there's no reception. iGo is best known for GPS Navigation, even better than other apps in the same class, such as TomTom, Garmin, CoPilot. iGo8 comes in 3 different versions: Windows Mobile, iPhone, and Android. The Android version however, seem to have less features than other versions, but they all share the same map files, which divided into separate states for the US.
5) SMS Wishes
This is my personal favorite apps. It's a text messaging scheduler for the future. You can setup a "Good morning sunshine!" text to your friend for tomorrow morning, while you're still snoring in bed; or a reminder, or a birthday greeting, or anything you like and it will text it for you. It's very simple and should be included as an option for sms texting.
1) Timeriffic - an app to set your droid behave differently in different period of time (ring, vibrate, airplan mode)
2) Missed call - a custom notification for missed call, text, voice mail, etc.
3) Astro Pro - file explorer, task manager, zipper.
4) iGo 8 - gps navigation software, without internet or data plan
5) SMS Wishes - sms text messaging scheduler
So why are they essential? I'll discuss that in a bit, but first let me tell ya my first impression bout Android. I used to be a big fan of Windows Mobile phones, but now I know why Win Mobile is falling behind the competitions; it's not fingers friendly. For anything on Windows Mobile phone, you will need a stylus, a pen, or a toothpick, or something pointy. Thanks to SPB Mobile Shell, which made it a bit easier on the finger, but still, most applications on Win Mobile were not designed for fingers use. On the other hand, Android (or even iPhone) doesn't require pointy fingers, in fact, it doesn't work if you use a pen or stylus on the touch screen; just stick your thumbs on it, or better yet, stick the whole tongue on it and it will work better.
Ok, back to the topic :D
1) Timeriffic
Ok I'm not sure about you, but cellphone reception is spooky. It tilts the VGA monitor screen if you put cellphone close to the monitor; it generates weird noises if you place it close to a speaker; it alternates the compass pole if you place the compass between 2 cellphones and make a call. While no one can prove that cellphone wave is unhealthy or not, I certainly don't like to keep it bouncing back a forth in my room while I'm sleeping. Timeriffic does a terrific job of managing automatic airplane mode (save battery), ringer, phone profile, and more. Just set your desire time for whichever action you want your phone to perform as a routine and it will do it automatically. It work best compare to other apps, doesn't matter if your phone is rooted or not, and best of all ...it's FREE
2) Missed call
Missed call should be a standard features on an Android. It lets you customize the notification of missed call, incoming sms, incoming call, voice mail. Customize how often it should repeat notification until you notice; it even let you control the LED blinking light and its color WOW! I thought LED color is a hardware thing, but turn out its color can be changed ...interesting!
3) Astro Pro
I was surprised that Android doesn't have a built-in file explorer, which is really silly thing for a smartphone. Maybe my Android (1.6) version is old or something. Maybe it will be included in future release. But for now, Astro remain the best appp for file explorer compare to other apps. It's more stable, quicker, and recognize SD card better than others. It has more features than just file explorer, but I haven't fully explore it yet.
4) iGo 8 Navigation for Android
The Google Maps is a great app. It has a broad database of virtually anything you need to find on the road. But for someone who doesn't have a data plan like me, Google Maps is useless. Even if I do have a data plan, it becomes useless when I go up the mountain or in the desert where there's no reception. iGo is best known for GPS Navigation, even better than other apps in the same class, such as TomTom, Garmin, CoPilot. iGo8 comes in 3 different versions: Windows Mobile, iPhone, and Android. The Android version however, seem to have less features than other versions, but they all share the same map files, which divided into separate states for the US.
5) SMS Wishes
This is my personal favorite apps. It's a text messaging scheduler for the future. You can setup a "Good morning sunshine!" text to your friend for tomorrow morning, while you're still snoring in bed; or a reminder, or a birthday greeting, or anything you like and it will text it for you. It's very simple and should be included as an option for sms texting.
T-mobile myTouch 3G without data plan for beginner
I have been a cellphone geek; There's something so sexy about smartphones that make me fall in love with them ...ok that was a bit exaggerating, but I have been a big fan of Windows Mobile phones for a long time because they are so useful, in term of features rich and the ease of customization. But lately, there are much hypes going for Android phones that made me curious, so I got an upgrade from T-mobile for a HTC myTouch 3G Android and I'm telling ya ...it works wonderful!
Ok, let's start from the beginning. For those who are reading this because you're interested in the myTouch 3G, you should know there are several version of myTouch 3Gs phones. Mine is the 2010 model, with Android 1.6, and a 3.5mm headphone jack on top of the phone. There was a problem at first when I was trying to activate my phone. I don't have a data plan ($30/month) and it seem like any Android phone requires an Google activation with a valid Gmail account. There's conspiracy that Google is trying to control the world, like SkyNet in the Terminator movies, someday it will take over the machine and slave mankind D: ...Anyway, I couldn't activate my MT3G phone because I don't have a data plan. There are 3 solutions to that:
1) "You can borrow a friend's SIM who has data plan" I quoted as many people keep saying that in many forums as the best answer to the solution ...and it's NOT! Are you kidding? I can't find anyone who has data SIM card. Most people in my area have Sprint, Verizon, At&T, or iPhone. And most of them have CDMA phones with NO SIM card; and of course, when I found one with a SIM card, they don't have data plan :/
2) Second solution is activating a data plan and then cancel it, which I did. Just login to Tmobile.com and go to "add service" to temporary add data to your phone. Notice, it may not let you add data plan if you have an old obsolete phone model as your default phone; Click on change my device or something like that and pick a T-mobile Wing, or any model that has internet compatibility. After adding service, it will take affected within an hour. Now, the activation should work. How long does it take for the phone to activate once you have data plan? ...less than a second. Don't forget to login back to Tmobile and cancel data plan right away if you don't like being charged $30/month.
3) The third option is spooky. Some say that you can root it or flash it with a new Android version and it doesn't ask for activation, which I doubt it because Android is Google's base OS. It doesn't matter if you replace it with a different version or not. Beside, I'm a newbie to Android so I have no clue how it works. I don't want to risk it and end up with a brick phone D:
Other than that, there are many mythes flying around on the net, like touching the four corners of the screen will bypass the activation process, or just hit cancel to quit the activation, bla bla bla...which are either lying or obsolete information.
Ok, let's start from the beginning. For those who are reading this because you're interested in the myTouch 3G, you should know there are several version of myTouch 3Gs phones. Mine is the 2010 model, with Android 1.6, and a 3.5mm headphone jack on top of the phone. There was a problem at first when I was trying to activate my phone. I don't have a data plan ($30/month) and it seem like any Android phone requires an Google activation with a valid Gmail account. There's conspiracy that Google is trying to control the world, like SkyNet in the Terminator movies, someday it will take over the machine and slave mankind D: ...Anyway, I couldn't activate my MT3G phone because I don't have a data plan. There are 3 solutions to that:
1) "You can borrow a friend's SIM who has data plan" I quoted as many people keep saying that in many forums as the best answer to the solution ...and it's NOT! Are you kidding? I can't find anyone who has data SIM card. Most people in my area have Sprint, Verizon, At&T, or iPhone. And most of them have CDMA phones with NO SIM card; and of course, when I found one with a SIM card, they don't have data plan :/
2) Second solution is activating a data plan and then cancel it, which I did. Just login to Tmobile.com and go to "add service" to temporary add data to your phone. Notice, it may not let you add data plan if you have an old obsolete phone model as your default phone; Click on change my device or something like that and pick a T-mobile Wing, or any model that has internet compatibility. After adding service, it will take affected within an hour. Now, the activation should work. How long does it take for the phone to activate once you have data plan? ...less than a second. Don't forget to login back to Tmobile and cancel data plan right away if you don't like being charged $30/month.
3) The third option is spooky. Some say that you can root it or flash it with a new Android version and it doesn't ask for activation, which I doubt it because Android is Google's base OS. It doesn't matter if you replace it with a different version or not. Beside, I'm a newbie to Android so I have no clue how it works. I don't want to risk it and end up with a brick phone D:
Other than that, there are many mythes flying around on the net, like touching the four corners of the screen will bypass the activation process, or just hit cancel to quit the activation, bla bla bla...which are either lying or obsolete information.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
motivation of doubts
Sometimes I wonder, is there any boundary between right and wrong, good and evil. Is good derived from evil as an alternative which are more acceptable by society; or good really sever the true value of goodness, unconditioned, without asking for any benefit in return. As I often see, many people believe in gods because they believe that gods will protect them; being good because good will return...so it's like an investment, which doesn't hold the true value of goodness any more. As I'm mentioning this, is because I want to help a friend but I'm not sure why I want to help her. Is it solely the act of friendship or is there any other purposes going through my mind. ... ..
Thursday, October 7, 2010
man in the mirror
I think I may have little-man syndrome --a constant feeling that I'm destine for something more extraordinary than others, something more special, something that many Vietnamese American haven't achieved. Something other than medical doctor, engineer, nails stuffs, and....well, that's pretty much it. That's pretty much career choices I can have as an immigrant, and I'm very sicked of it. I want a break through and do something more profound, something more enjoyable. But looking at myself in the mirror, I don't see anything special about me, nor any talent that I have; I only see "a tiny asian nerd" as Jlo use to refer to me on her blog :/
I don't know. If any change I want to make, now is the good time because my dad just have been approved for some disability benefit. I don't think it worths much, but at least enough for him to live at the bare-nessity level. I used to count on my brother, thought that once he's done with school, he will move back home and help me taking care of my parents so I can continue my education. But I have learned that my destiny is within my own hands, never count on anyone because it will be a total disappointment.
I don't know. If any change I want to make, now is the good time because my dad just have been approved for some disability benefit. I don't think it worths much, but at least enough for him to live at the bare-nessity level. I used to count on my brother, thought that once he's done with school, he will move back home and help me taking care of my parents so I can continue my education. But I have learned that my destiny is within my own hands, never count on anyone because it will be a total disappointment.
Friday, October 1, 2010
ADHD part 2
So medicine journals has confirmed, ADHD is a genetic link disorder. With that in mind, my mind starting to wander about Q .... nahhhhhhh hom nay la`m bie'n viet blog wa', mai mot viet tiep :D
(to be continued)
(to be continued)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Devirginizing
....that's not even a proper word, but in MM's self define dictionary, it means the process of letting someone into my life and taking away the virginess, also the moment I laying the first women in my life lol. And yet, as of today September 16 of 2010, that moment has not yet to come...shyt!!
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. People at my age usually have a family, wife, kids, mortgage, loans, STDs,...or anything that make life more colorful and complicated I guess. But for me, life is very simple at the moment. I guess I should blame on myself for not being more socialize I guess. I guess if I have more friends, and friends of my friends, and the whole "networking" kind of life, would that make life more interesting?
I'm having a thought, a bad thought :(
Well, I'm planning to move away, into the big city with all the busy-ness of life. It will be tough because not only I have to support myself, but I also have to support my parents as well. I'm planning of getting 2 jobs if I have to. Along with that, I have to learn my way through the acting crafts. That's a suicidal mission cuz my chance of become a well-known actor is less than winning the lottery...but I will take that chance soon.
But before I go, I want to ask my friend if she can devirginize me first hahaa. I don't know wtf is wrong, but I just feel like a 16 years old boy all the time. Maybe I'm gay or something, shyt, I hope not. But I really want to have an intimate relationship now. I know it sounds really cheesy and corny, but I want to make love, not just raw sex; and I don't feel comfortable with strangers that I meet at the clubs, or bars, or online dating... I only feel comfortable around people I known for a long time; someone I trusted and attracted to. Currently, there is only 1 friend of mine that I can imagine I will make love to, but she already has a bf :( . Making love is more than just sex; it's sex with passion, care, and connection of 2 people through body and soul. Shyt! maybe my concept of making luv is too high; maybe I should hire a hooker and get it over with :/
...anyway, I think I will take the chance and ask her before I leave, despite the fact it will make me a total pig. I wish someone can relate to how I feel right now :(
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. People at my age usually have a family, wife, kids, mortgage, loans, STDs,...or anything that make life more colorful and complicated I guess. But for me, life is very simple at the moment. I guess I should blame on myself for not being more socialize I guess. I guess if I have more friends, and friends of my friends, and the whole "networking" kind of life, would that make life more interesting?
I'm having a thought, a bad thought :(
Well, I'm planning to move away, into the big city with all the busy-ness of life. It will be tough because not only I have to support myself, but I also have to support my parents as well. I'm planning of getting 2 jobs if I have to. Along with that, I have to learn my way through the acting crafts. That's a suicidal mission cuz my chance of become a well-known actor is less than winning the lottery...but I will take that chance soon.
But before I go, I want to ask my friend if she can devirginize me first hahaa. I don't know wtf is wrong, but I just feel like a 16 years old boy all the time. Maybe I'm gay or something, shyt, I hope not. But I really want to have an intimate relationship now. I know it sounds really cheesy and corny, but I want to make love, not just raw sex; and I don't feel comfortable with strangers that I meet at the clubs, or bars, or online dating... I only feel comfortable around people I known for a long time; someone I trusted and attracted to. Currently, there is only 1 friend of mine that I can imagine I will make love to, but she already has a bf :( . Making love is more than just sex; it's sex with passion, care, and connection of 2 people through body and soul. Shyt! maybe my concept of making luv is too high; maybe I should hire a hooker and get it over with :/
...anyway, I think I will take the chance and ask her before I leave, despite the fact it will make me a total pig. I wish someone can relate to how I feel right now :(
Sunday, September 5, 2010
the lost words
Not in a stubborn way, but I think faith is something vital to our life. It's a principle that we should stick to, no matters what life treating us, never loose faith. Otherwise it wouldn't be called "faith" any more...
I have a friend who I haven't met for 3 years. He used to be my best friend in college. I thought he would be a doctor by now because he was very determined person. But after several years of absent, now he's losing faith in school and become a different person. He cares more about social trend and exotic stuffs now rather than focusing on school. I don't blame him; I guess it's just the matter of balancing between school and social life, and apparently, he didn't do a good job on that.
I don't know. I guess changing is good, especially with the rapid changes in society today. But still, principle are principle and it shouldn't be changed. Same thing go with love and relationships. Being broken hearted once doesn't mean it will happen again; or what the hell, if it does happen again then move on a start it over. The key here is never loose faith in love and the true ascent of love; just have to find someone with the same faith and believes...
I think I will need lots of time to learn this song, and fixing some Vietnamese lyrics of this song. I amazed how a pured romantic love song like this can be translated in to Vietnamese with totally different meaning, which isn't pure anymore
I have a friend who I haven't met for 3 years. He used to be my best friend in college. I thought he would be a doctor by now because he was very determined person. But after several years of absent, now he's losing faith in school and become a different person. He cares more about social trend and exotic stuffs now rather than focusing on school. I don't blame him; I guess it's just the matter of balancing between school and social life, and apparently, he didn't do a good job on that.
I don't know. I guess changing is good, especially with the rapid changes in society today. But still, principle are principle and it shouldn't be changed. Same thing go with love and relationships. Being broken hearted once doesn't mean it will happen again; or what the hell, if it does happen again then move on a start it over. The key here is never loose faith in love and the true ascent of love; just have to find someone with the same faith and believes...
I think I will need lots of time to learn this song, and fixing some Vietnamese lyrics of this song. I amazed how a pured romantic love song like this can be translated in to Vietnamese with totally different meaning, which isn't pure anymore
Saturday, August 28, 2010
A time for us (Piano cover)
I recently found a program called Pianoteq, which allow me to connect my piano to my laptop directly and producing a crystal clear recording sound WohOooo! what a fantastic program!!
Enjoy my new song :)
Monday, August 23, 2010
nothing to lose
It is a shame to admit that I don't have many close friends. The only close friend I have is my former coworker, who has totally different hobbies and point of views about life/society, but somehow we manage to get along very well. I also have two to three other friends that I hang out with sometimes, but they are females so I alway try to keep a distance so that there's no feelings involve between us because I like to have a line between friendships and romances ...Anyway, sometimes I wonder if is there any social issues with me. I tend to afraid to have a close intimate relationship, not only with friends, but also with family. I usually don't like to show affection to anyone, not because I am mean/evil/jerk/a$$hole or anything, but because I afraid of saying goodbye. Because of my plan for school/career, I will eventually move far away someday, I don't like to be sad or making others sad when I'm leaving...and the only way to prevent that is not to be intimately involved.
But my loneliness is killing me! I'm so desperated for love; my arms are hungry for a warm hug; my lips are thirsty for some passion kisses; my other thing is horny LOL jk :D ...Quynh seems to be a very nice girl; she's 4 years younger than me. I really want to "cua" her lol but knowing that I will eventually move, it makes me sad cuz I don't want to break her heart, or mine neither. Moving to where?? wtf am I kidding, idk where am I moving to either. Maybe I should drop the plan and accept what I have now live with it. Or maybe not having any intimate relationship at the moment is a good time to move away ....I'm clueless :(
P.S. A new piano song that I'm learning is coming soon: A time for us (slow version) :D
But my loneliness is killing me! I'm so desperated for love; my arms are hungry for a warm hug; my lips are thirsty for some passion kisses; my other thing is horny LOL jk :D ...Quynh seems to be a very nice girl; she's 4 years younger than me. I really want to "cua" her lol but knowing that I will eventually move, it makes me sad cuz I don't want to break her heart, or mine neither. Moving to where?? wtf am I kidding, idk where am I moving to either. Maybe I should drop the plan and accept what I have now live with it. Or maybe not having any intimate relationship at the moment is a good time to move away ....I'm clueless :(
P.S. A new piano song that I'm learning is coming soon: A time for us (slow version) :D
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
love is blue, or love is blind?
Love is a beautiful thang, I supposed, for those who is in love and being loved. But among those, only few of them are actually pure love and unconditionalled love. The rest are just pure...(idk, parasites love?)...or the kinda of love that exchanging for something in return, or using each other, or i don't know what the hell reasons are behind it...
I'm talking about my brother. Every-since he found his so called lover, he isn't the same as before. Well, lets start with the good things; he seems less grouchy than before, and seem to be happier than before. But that's it. The bad thing is, he seem more stupid than before :O Even though I don't have exact proof that his gf is using him, but I know she just want to find a decent nice guy to be with so she can stay in the US because she's an international student who desperate for a greencard to stay here. My parents, whose oppose that idea, turn out to be bad people in my brother's eyes. My aunt, who introduced him to his gf, turn out to be a god mother in his eyes. He would kiss her a$$ and do anything my aunt ask him to do, as if she is his beloved mother. I don't know when will he realize that he's being used by those women; maybe never because it's so smooth and he will not realize it at all. Like the old slang used to say "Thuong nhau cho goi cho vot, ghet nhau cho mat cho dung"
I hope my instinct is wrong :(
I'm talking about my brother. Every-since he found his so called lover, he isn't the same as before. Well, lets start with the good things; he seems less grouchy than before, and seem to be happier than before. But that's it. The bad thing is, he seem more stupid than before :O Even though I don't have exact proof that his gf is using him, but I know she just want to find a decent nice guy to be with so she can stay in the US because she's an international student who desperate for a greencard to stay here. My parents, whose oppose that idea, turn out to be bad people in my brother's eyes. My aunt, who introduced him to his gf, turn out to be a god mother in his eyes. He would kiss her a$$ and do anything my aunt ask him to do, as if she is his beloved mother. I don't know when will he realize that he's being used by those women; maybe never because it's so smooth and he will not realize it at all. Like the old slang used to say "Thuong nhau cho goi cho vot, ghet nhau cho mat cho dung"
I hope my instinct is wrong :(
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
craziness
I kinda love these silence nights when I'm awake totally by myself in my room, without any sound, except the sound of silence and darkness. I'm not sure what it is, but it seem really peaceful. And sometimes it makes me wonder, about life/love/family...and anything else in between. Things that make perfectly no sense to me. Things that make me think people around me are crazy...
Lets start with my family, especially my dad. He's the most anti-social person I ever known. No, he's not mean. He just simply think that he's the smartest person on earth. Given any idea that someone has, he will try to find something better to out-smart that idea, even if his idea is bad, he will try to convince that his is better. Yet, it prevents him from getting along with other people cuz he thinks he's more special than others. Yet, he has to suffer from his own social disease. He doesn't have any friend around here. Even with relatives from my mom's side, who live only 30 minutes away, he doesn't like us to visit them cuz he thinks they are bad influences. I think he has a "little man syndrome" --a psychological disorder that makes make people think that they are bigger than the world :/
My mom, however, is a little different. She has a "cheap syndrome". She will keep any leftover foods in the freezer as her favorite phrase is "cover rồi để freezer" -_-, from toilet paper to napkin, electricity to water. She will turn off the water hole to droplets and leave it overnight so that there is water to use in the morning without getting charge cuz the water meter doesn't turn by droplets; She will tare a napkin in half, use it and then clean the table with it before throwing away... and most of all, she has been always longing to be old so she can collect senior social security money :(
The last person is my older brother--my only brother. I think he has a "Lonely-man syndrome" He's the kind of quiet and conservative kind of guy that would keep every thought to himself. He has been focusing very much on school; studying hard, going to the library, staying in a corner reading by himself; going home, study some more. He doesn't talk much to anyone; not a chic magnet; and have bad breath...suddenly, he met a girl at my aunt's birthday and bamm! He decided to fall in love. Quit applying to dentist school, he applied to nursing school so he can secretly move in with her. She is not in nursing, she is just an international student who need a greencard so she can stay in the US. She is not pretty, nor any special characteristic/personality standing out from others. She only have a cold sores virus that passed on to my brother after they live together, as no one in my family ever carry herpes complex virus D:
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.Anyhow, it's time for me to go back to sleep before I have a stroke at work tomorrow. I guess nobody is perfect since perfection is so objective. Yet, seeing too many issues in my family make me sad and don't know what to do. Perhaps I'm the one with issues; Perhaps I'm crazy one for seeing others' craziness. Maybe I am the one who have "cheap-lonely-littleman syndrome" :|
Lets start with my family, especially my dad. He's the most anti-social person I ever known. No, he's not mean. He just simply think that he's the smartest person on earth. Given any idea that someone has, he will try to find something better to out-smart that idea, even if his idea is bad, he will try to convince that his is better. Yet, it prevents him from getting along with other people cuz he thinks he's more special than others. Yet, he has to suffer from his own social disease. He doesn't have any friend around here. Even with relatives from my mom's side, who live only 30 minutes away, he doesn't like us to visit them cuz he thinks they are bad influences. I think he has a "little man syndrome" --a psychological disorder that makes make people think that they are bigger than the world :/
My mom, however, is a little different. She has a "cheap syndrome". She will keep any leftover foods in the freezer as her favorite phrase is "cover rồi để freezer" -_-, from toilet paper to napkin, electricity to water. She will turn off the water hole to droplets and leave it overnight so that there is water to use in the morning without getting charge cuz the water meter doesn't turn by droplets; She will tare a napkin in half, use it and then clean the table with it before throwing away... and most of all, she has been always longing to be old so she can collect senior social security money :(
The last person is my older brother--my only brother. I think he has a "Lonely-man syndrome" He's the kind of quiet and conservative kind of guy that would keep every thought to himself. He has been focusing very much on school; studying hard, going to the library, staying in a corner reading by himself; going home, study some more. He doesn't talk much to anyone; not a chic magnet; and have bad breath...suddenly, he met a girl at my aunt's birthday and bamm! He decided to fall in love. Quit applying to dentist school, he applied to nursing school so he can secretly move in with her. She is not in nursing, she is just an international student who need a greencard so she can stay in the US. She is not pretty, nor any special characteristic/personality standing out from others. She only have a cold sores virus that passed on to my brother after they live together, as no one in my family ever carry herpes complex virus D:
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.Anyhow, it's time for me to go back to sleep before I have a stroke at work tomorrow. I guess nobody is perfect since perfection is so objective. Yet, seeing too many issues in my family make me sad and don't know what to do. Perhaps I'm the one with issues; Perhaps I'm crazy one for seeing others' craziness. Maybe I am the one who have "cheap-lonely-littleman syndrome" :|
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Nói lén
Trời ơi! Ai biểu mình ngu, khoe cái blog với mấy người coworkers làm chi!?! đễ bây giờ muốn viết blog về công việc cũng phải viết bằng tiếng Việt cho người ta không đọc được ...kakaka
Công việc lúc này có vẽ hơi phiền phức, nhất là đối với cô dược sỹ supervisor. Mình và cô ta có nhiều bất đồng point of view, càng lúc càng nhiều thêm. Nhất là từ khi Target mướn 1 người dược sỹ đàn ông mới. My supervisor có vẽ ganh tị vì người mới làm việc tích cực và hoàn thành nhiều tasks hơn cô ta; cô ta còn ganh tị và ghét lây những người khác who like working with him. But at the same time, cô ta thích làm chung với him vì cô ta là một người bà bị chồng ly vị (divorced) nên muốn có người tình mới, mặc dầu người dược sỹ đàn ông này đã đính hôn cùng his gf. I'm so disgusted by people soemtimes, nhất là những người desperate for a relationship. Họ sẽ bất chấp thủ đoạn để thỏa mãng lòng tham của họ....
...And I think I'm one of those disgusting people also :( because I have a similar thought. I have a female friend, who already have a bf. She is trying to take a technician test and she asked me if I can help her with it; I happily said YES. I'm not sure why I am so happy to help her... is it because I like to have a closer friendship? or am I just wanting to get close to her to get into her pant? :/
You see, I have a biological hormone theory; I believe that testosterone (male hormone) and estrogen (female hormone) have adverse effect to our brain. If the hormone level is too high or low, it alter our thoughts and make us do stupid things. So I often think twice (or zoom out of my point of view, to a broader society point of view) when there is any thing that has female involve....to see if my head is in control or my dick is in control hahaha
Công việc lúc này có vẽ hơi phiền phức, nhất là đối với cô dược sỹ supervisor. Mình và cô ta có nhiều bất đồng point of view, càng lúc càng nhiều thêm. Nhất là từ khi Target mướn 1 người dược sỹ đàn ông mới. My supervisor có vẽ ganh tị vì người mới làm việc tích cực và hoàn thành nhiều tasks hơn cô ta; cô ta còn ganh tị và ghét lây những người khác who like working with him. But at the same time, cô ta thích làm chung với him vì cô ta là một người bà bị chồng ly vị (divorced) nên muốn có người tình mới, mặc dầu người dược sỹ đàn ông này đã đính hôn cùng his gf. I'm so disgusted by people soemtimes, nhất là những người desperate for a relationship. Họ sẽ bất chấp thủ đoạn để thỏa mãng lòng tham của họ....
...And I think I'm one of those disgusting people also :( because I have a similar thought. I have a female friend, who already have a bf. She is trying to take a technician test and she asked me if I can help her with it; I happily said YES. I'm not sure why I am so happy to help her... is it because I like to have a closer friendship? or am I just wanting to get close to her to get into her pant? :/
You see, I have a biological hormone theory; I believe that testosterone (male hormone) and estrogen (female hormone) have adverse effect to our brain. If the hormone level is too high or low, it alter our thoughts and make us do stupid things. So I often think twice (or zoom out of my point of view, to a broader society point of view) when there is any thing that has female involve....to see if my head is in control or my dick is in control hahaha
Sunday, July 4, 2010
waiting for...
my mom occasionally-constantly-randomly asking me "When are you going to be done with school?" and I answer "I am waiting" ...."waiting for what?" she said, and I just walk away in silence :(
I don't know. I don't know what the hell am I waiting for. Every since my dad had the heart failure thing, and the doctor told us that his heart failure will eventually getting worse in a few years, my career plan was temporary paused. I guess I'm waiting for his heart disease to go away--along with him. I guess I'm trying to make enough money to help my mom with all the bills and expenses, to put less pressure on her shoulder; to waiting for my brother graduating from nursing school so he can help us financially; and the most importance of all, I'm waiting for a meaning of my life--a passion, a believe, a goal, or a soul mate, that make me wanna live for forever and die for together.
Taking about soul mate, I think no one on earth would understand me cuz I'm usually be a little too quiet; I often don't expressed my feelings verbally like many people. I'm amazed how people can sugar coated every word they say and get away with it. My coworker for instance, he can sugar coated everything he says, even though he doesn't give a sheit behind their back; yet, people think he's charming :o
Anyhow, I still believe that at least, there is one person somewhere on earth who can see all the goodness in me, not by words or cho't luoi da`u moi, but simply by the look on her eyes and a beautiful smile that brighten up my days of...waiting
I don't know. I don't know what the hell am I waiting for. Every since my dad had the heart failure thing, and the doctor told us that his heart failure will eventually getting worse in a few years, my career plan was temporary paused. I guess I'm waiting for his heart disease to go away--along with him. I guess I'm trying to make enough money to help my mom with all the bills and expenses, to put less pressure on her shoulder; to waiting for my brother graduating from nursing school so he can help us financially; and the most importance of all, I'm waiting for a meaning of my life--a passion, a believe, a goal, or a soul mate, that make me wanna live for forever and die for together.
Taking about soul mate, I think no one on earth would understand me cuz I'm usually be a little too quiet; I often don't expressed my feelings verbally like many people. I'm amazed how people can sugar coated every word they say and get away with it. My coworker for instance, he can sugar coated everything he says, even though he doesn't give a sheit behind their back; yet, people think he's charming :o
Anyhow, I still believe that at least, there is one person somewhere on earth who can see all the goodness in me, not by words or cho't luoi da`u moi, but simply by the look on her eyes and a beautiful smile that brighten up my days of...waiting
Sunday, June 20, 2010
"Chuyen Tinh Khong Suy Tu" thêm mắm/muối :))
Megaupload: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FC3RSOJW
Just adding some sound effects and a cheesy voice over lol to Kimi's video. I wish I can plan piano better to play along :( ...maybe 10 more years then, lol
I hate those "talks" in a song, but ironically, I'm doing it...cheesy nghe noi da ga` hahaah
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
good deeds
so I found her twitter account couple days ago. Unlike her bf, she is not a twitter addict lol, only a few old tweet from last month. I wanted to follow her, but I soon realized that it's a bad idea cuz we haven't met for 5 years, OMG 5 FKKING YEARS! I wonder if she still remember me!?! hopefully she still have a good memory of me...but remember what? We barely knew each other for a month; only the deep look in her eyes and the pretty smile :) ...that's all I remember
OMG, I can't believe that I'm still sitting here writing about some stupid moment of 5 years ago. This is so fuking lame! half of my heart is gone; not exactly gone but remain frozen, until someone special come into my life and warm it up. Either way, I don't want to sound like a stalker, but I secretly wish that she's happy. Love is complicated sometimes; sometimes loving someone is just making someone happy, regardless of who they are with; that's including sucking up all the stupid problems on myself. Like the other day, my neighbor blackmailed me money for a minor accident between him and my dad when they were backing up their cars and hit each other. I agreed to pay for it secretly so my dad won't get mad, as he having heart problem already. Or the other day when I was driving to my friend house to install the car alarm for him, I got a ticket and he hasn't pay for it nor the alarm's cost. Or when I'm paying for my cellphone bills, including my brother's gf's line so she can max out the minutes -I hope she's not cheating on him or using him :/
Keeping all the problems to myself, I think someday I'll exploded with anger and frustration. I'll probably hop on a train and runaway. But until then, I have to deal with it for now. Oh, and whenever I feel unlucky or feel like I've done something good, I buy a lottery ...who knows maybe I'll win (well lets hope) :)
OMG, I can't believe that I'm still sitting here writing about some stupid moment of 5 years ago. This is so fuking lame! half of my heart is gone; not exactly gone but remain frozen, until someone special come into my life and warm it up. Either way, I don't want to sound like a stalker, but I secretly wish that she's happy. Love is complicated sometimes; sometimes loving someone is just making someone happy, regardless of who they are with; that's including sucking up all the stupid problems on myself. Like the other day, my neighbor blackmailed me money for a minor accident between him and my dad when they were backing up their cars and hit each other. I agreed to pay for it secretly so my dad won't get mad, as he having heart problem already. Or the other day when I was driving to my friend house to install the car alarm for him, I got a ticket and he hasn't pay for it nor the alarm's cost. Or when I'm paying for my cellphone bills, including my brother's gf's line so she can max out the minutes -I hope she's not cheating on him or using him :/
Keeping all the problems to myself, I think someday I'll exploded with anger and frustration. I'll probably hop on a train and runaway. But until then, I have to deal with it for now. Oh, and whenever I feel unlucky or feel like I've done something good, I buy a lottery ...who knows maybe I'll win (well lets hope) :)
Saturday, June 12, 2010
"Life is a single skip for joy"
(please turn off my profile music before playing)
Sometimes I like to watch nameless (non Blockbuster) kind of movies, cuz sometimes it has interesting ideas; the kind of ideas that don't usually be seen in a mainstream media. Like, a movies I just watched the other night, there was a quote that made me think ... "Life is single skip for joy" :) I guess everyone has different kind of joy, and I guess it's hard to find someone has the same taste of joy :/
Every-since I read a stupid eBook called 101 Romantic Ideas couple years ago, haha one of the ideas keep stuck in my mind because I think it's very romantic. I've been always wanted to go to the beach with a beautiful girl, bring an iPod, split the 3.5mm headphone into 2 pairs, one pair for me, one pair for her, and listen to love music together. I think it's romantic cuz we can both hear the same songs under and silent sky and relax; like a magical sound that connects our souls together... but so far I haven't met someone with the same taste. One girl told me she hates those "gay Ricky Martins' kinda music", the other girl told me it's too depressing, another one told me it's boring, another one told me she love it but I didn't have any feelings for her and it was meaningless :( ...why is it so damn hard to find souldmate?? perhaps because there's none :/
Sometimes I like to watch nameless (non Blockbuster) kind of movies, cuz sometimes it has interesting ideas; the kind of ideas that don't usually be seen in a mainstream media. Like, a movies I just watched the other night, there was a quote that made me think ... "Life is single skip for joy" :) I guess everyone has different kind of joy, and I guess it's hard to find someone has the same taste of joy :/
Every-since I read a stupid eBook called 101 Romantic Ideas couple years ago, haha one of the ideas keep stuck in my mind because I think it's very romantic. I've been always wanted to go to the beach with a beautiful girl, bring an iPod, split the 3.5mm headphone into 2 pairs, one pair for me, one pair for her, and listen to love music together. I think it's romantic cuz we can both hear the same songs under and silent sky and relax; like a magical sound that connects our souls together... but so far I haven't met someone with the same taste. One girl told me she hates those "gay Ricky Martins' kinda music", the other girl told me it's too depressing, another one told me it's boring, another one told me she love it but I didn't have any feelings for her and it was meaningless :( ...why is it so damn hard to find souldmate?? perhaps because there's none :/
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Pussy
No, I'm not talking about actual pussy haha; I just referring myself as a pussy :( *sigh*
I sold my car today. First, I thought my price was rock bottom low already, until they made a counter offer for $200 less and I took it. Then I felt weak cuz I wasn't firm enough. It's not much about the money, but I just hate myself for not being strong to withstand my decision as I told my mom and myself how much I would willing to sell it for. As my supervisor(pharmacist) used to tell me "Min, you need to be firm" cuz I usually let emotion interfere my decision; for example, I tell people that their medication will be ready in 15 minutes, people usually say they have to do that or to do this "can you do it in 5 minutes?" and I usually answer "Sure no problem" and rush my ass off to get it done :(
"Sell high, buy low" that is how people alway wanted. That's how the business world operate. And I'm no match for the busy world out there; I'm always hiding in my comfort zone or behind the counter :(
(Sorry T if you're reading this hahaha. I'm not dragging about it or anything, just some thoughts I want to get off my mind ya know ^_^ I think the price is worth buying/selling drive careful and good luck in school)
I sold my car today. First, I thought my price was rock bottom low already, until they made a counter offer for $200 less and I took it. Then I felt weak cuz I wasn't firm enough. It's not much about the money, but I just hate myself for not being strong to withstand my decision as I told my mom and myself how much I would willing to sell it for. As my supervisor(pharmacist) used to tell me "Min, you need to be firm" cuz I usually let emotion interfere my decision; for example, I tell people that their medication will be ready in 15 minutes, people usually say they have to do that or to do this "can you do it in 5 minutes?" and I usually answer "Sure no problem" and rush my ass off to get it done :(
"Sell high, buy low" that is how people alway wanted. That's how the business world operate. And I'm no match for the busy world out there; I'm always hiding in my comfort zone or behind the counter :(
(Sorry T if you're reading this hahaha. I'm not dragging about it or anything, just some thoughts I want to get off my mind ya know ^_^ I think the price is worth buying/selling drive careful and good luck in school)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
my inconsistent
I once was told that weakness can be turning into invincible strength. I think it's only apply to those who already have mental strength and consistent...but my weakness is lack of consistent :( school half done, hobbies half done, career half done, piano songs half done, love half done (actually didn't even started lol) ...and that's the thing. I wonder how is it like to welcome someone into my life and keep flame of love consistent for the years to come. what if I can't keep up with it and give up bail out :( I guess i'm just thinking too much . I don't know what have gotten into my mind; maybe just a stage of minds where the puzzle of life is breaking down part by part and reconnect them one by one to make a meaning out of it
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Respond to "That October"
So I went to see the new Shrek movies today. It was pretty good; though, there was some moment I felt like they (the film makers) were trying too hard to impress the audiences by adding too many extra scenes, but overall it was entertaining to watch. Not to spoil the movies, but I think the main message of the movies is very meaningful. We --as mankind- usually don't appreciate the the present; some will always longing at unrealistic dream of the future; some will always looking at the unerasable past and regret; yet the moment of living is right now, at this very moment, with that very special people that we're having :) ...so I thought about "That October"
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. (I was thinking of writing a longer respond, but I'm having a bad migraine lol ...later Km :)
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. (I was thinking of writing a longer respond, but I'm having a bad migraine lol ...later Km :)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
the END
So while I was stranded in my cold and silence room last night, my brain started spinning and spinning around like computer hard drive; keep thinking and thinking unconsciously. There were thoughts, and there were blank thoughts lol...they all come and go so randomly. Then, there were spiritual thoughts, some thoughts I've put in a movies called Outsourced that I watched a few days ago. It's a modern Indian romantic comedy...i'm not going to go detail into the movies, but there was a very short segment about Gods in India. They have a Gods in India called "Gods of destruction" where they basically believe that destruction of any matter on the universe is good thing; because if there is no ending, there wouldn't be a new beginning... which is perfectly make sense :)
I guess, the idea of "Gods of destruction" inspire me in some ways, not in a destructive way of course, but in a motivated way. A motivation to move on and leave everything ended bad behind because if there's no ending, there wouldn't be a new beginning. If there is no ending to a bad crush hihi there wouldn't be a new crush; if there is no ending to a job, there wouldn't be a new better job-- if it's not better, then end it and start a new beginning. Better or worse, change is always good, don't look back at a bad ending and regret, but rather look at it and smiling for a new future :)
Now, for people of the Middle E who always at wars creating chaos <--- that's stupid! :/
I guess, the idea of "Gods of destruction" inspire me in some ways, not in a destructive way of course, but in a motivated way. A motivation to move on and leave everything ended bad behind because if there's no ending, there wouldn't be a new beginning. If there is no ending to a bad crush hihi there wouldn't be a new crush; if there is no ending to a job, there wouldn't be a new better job-- if it's not better, then end it and start a new beginning. Better or worse, change is always good, don't look back at a bad ending and regret, but rather look at it and smiling for a new future :)
Now, for people of the Middle E who always at wars creating chaos <--- that's stupid! :/
Friday, May 14, 2010
old dreams
Perception is something strange to me; maybe because I am still not mature enough, or maybe at different stage of age, my perception changes. Not too long ago, I had a goal--an unrealistic goal--I wanted to become famous, famous up to a point I can appear on televions e.g. FOX, ABC, CBS, ect...or any shows as long as it's on TV lol. I knew it would take years or even my whole life to get there, or I won't even make it there :/ but I wanted to take a chance; a chance to be on national televion to tell J that I luv her and always been luving her seen the time I met her...but like ppl usually say "Time is the best medicine for healing a broken heart" Haven't met her for 5 years, her image is blurry and almost disappear in my mind. I don't remember much about her pretty eyes, her pretty smile, and her pretty voice as I used to...những cảm giác đó dzường như đã phai nhòa đi theo thời gian, như những bước chân đi trên các đang bị nước biễn cuống đi...
Another dream that I had was to build a bridge for my people in Vietnam where I grew up. It's so sad to think about living condition in many poor developing countries; can't even affort a concrete bridge for people...nói tới đây, bỗng dưng tôi cảm thấy nhớ quê hương tha thiết :( ...(to be continued)
Another dream that I had was to build a bridge for my people in Vietnam where I grew up. It's so sad to think about living condition in many poor developing countries; can't even affort a concrete bridge for people...nói tới đây, bỗng dưng tôi cảm thấy nhớ quê hương tha thiết :( ...(to be continued)
Sunday, May 9, 2010
my sin
I really hate it when buddism call something is a sin but never really explain why it is considerred a sin. I guess it's up to ourself to figure it out, rather than depending on the bible as a dictionary of sinful stuffs. Through out my whole life I think I don't have many sins to worry about. Little that I know, I commited a sin since I was 15 :( ...SEX, it's all about sex. Since the dawn of time, to the modern time, many problems were originated from sex. Sex is everywhere, internet, magazine, movies, clubs bars, literature, history...and I was exposed to sexual contents on cables tv at the age of 15. Not only that, I ripped off some pages of Playboy megazine and stole it from my cousin OMG. I guess I was young and stupid (I'm still young and stupid lol) couldn't control myself. Plus, it was forbidden and I love the unforbidden the forbidden lol. I don't have enough evidences to relate watching porno to my shy behavior; but I can tell that they are close related as a cause and effect :(. I guess it makes me shy and flushed to be around girls because all the dirty things I seen, even when I was with the girl of my dream, who I really care and adored. But couldn't be with her, my world was falling apart; no more interested in school, no more future, no more luv, no more anything, nothing is matter without her...but now, when reality strike, I need to take care of my parents. I need to provide everything they need; I want to have them experience a luxurious life while it last; want to make them proud...but I'm still not be able to accomplish :(
These are sensitive thoughts that I've never told anyone. I wish there's someone who I can open up and tell everything without worrying about making myself look bad or imperfect; with no judgment; only with understanding, comforts, soft and gentle to hold on tight to feel each other's heart beats ~_~
(ok, it's time for my late night porno again) lol jk :D
These are sensitive thoughts that I've never told anyone. I wish there's someone who I can open up and tell everything without worrying about making myself look bad or imperfect; with no judgment; only with understanding, comforts, soft and gentle to hold on tight to feel each other's heart beats ~_~
(ok, it's time for my late night porno again) lol jk :D
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Tinh Yeu --karaoke
minh không thích karaoke at home chút nào hết, không thể max out volume róng cho đã miệng được :( ...but it's ok, just some random moment anyway. This is just a trial recording to see how it is with recording voice and music separately; music is great, vocal sucks hahaha
Tình yêu là vết dao đâm vào tim
Tình yêu là những nhát roi bầm tím
Tình yêu là đoá hoa nhưng nhiều gai
Tình yêu là nỗi mê say trong đời .
Biết thế sao vẫn tìm đến
Đến với yêu thương trọn kiếp
Chẳng biết chẳng biết vì sao ???
Tình yêu là khât khao mong gần nhau
Tình yêu là nhớ thương quên ngày tháng
Tình yêu là chết cho người mình yêu
Tình yêu là sống cho nhau muôn đời ...
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Multiple crush
Been working with her only couples of times (3 days to be exact) but I don't know why I feel really nervous every time I see her; my heart start pounding; my face turning red; my voice humbling; my fingers shaking; and most of all, my eyes start looking away from her ...ay ya yay...chicken like me will never get a girl :/ I'm not sure what I like about her; she's not hot or supermodle or anything, kinda chubby, big butt big thigh ^^ cute smile feminine voice sweet personality awww...the kind of genuinely sweet, not the kind of b!tchy pretending to be sweet; the kind of sweet that I want to hold tight on the beach and relax all night. The kind of sweet that made me hump my pillow the night after I met her ^^ but sadly I won't see her again anytime soon, maybe months, maybe years, or maybe never. Then, all those feelings gone away the next day when I met the C2 girl. OMG, I've been waiting for her every single month but I couldn't get a chance to talk to her this time :( I've noticed that things will never turn out the ways I expected, should've learned to expect the unexpected :/
I'm kinda glad that i'm still single; still be able to crush on many ppl as I want to without feeling guilty^^
Anyway, thank you for reading my blog. Here is a piano piece I've learned recently; a soundtrack from a French movies; it's not perfect yet but much better than last time I recorded :P ,the original is beautifully played http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z2ljWwIaHs
I'm kinda glad that i'm still single; still be able to crush on many ppl as I want to without feeling guilty^^
Anyway, thank you for reading my blog. Here is a piano piece I've learned recently; a soundtrack from a French movies; it's not perfect yet but much better than last time I recorded :P ,the original is beautifully played http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z2ljWwIaHs
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Purpose of lifeee?
"Life of a biologist is all about eat, sleep, and reproduce"--my biology teacher used to say haha
I have been ditching that question since...forever...because I don't really know the answer. I think that's a bad habbit of mine, keep avoiding the problem instead of solving the problem :s .Yet, I need a goal for my future, a purpose of living and a target to aim myself to the right direction. Right now, it's hard for me to decide cuz it's not just my life to put into consideration; there is my parents as well. If I decide to have a normal life, living with my parents to pay off my debt--the debt that I owe them since the day I was born--then it will be very boring. Eventhough they never ask anything from me, I feel terrible because I haven't done anything to make them proud. Too much conflicts going on in my mind right now. I want to live a peaceful time, but at the same time, I don't want to be a nobody. I want to go to a big city where I can find more opportunities to strike. I want to have a more exciting and fullfill environment of living. But thinking about my dad's health make me weak :(. He's on the downhill of health, probably 2 to 3 more years to live. They are all I have right now; without them i'll be very lonely...
Idk, i'm just going sleep now. Maybe my biology teacher was right; life is all about eat + sleep + reproduce hahaha so I guess the only thing missing in my life is "reproduce" ^^
I have been ditching that question since...forever...because I don't really know the answer. I think that's a bad habbit of mine, keep avoiding the problem instead of solving the problem :s .Yet, I need a goal for my future, a purpose of living and a target to aim myself to the right direction. Right now, it's hard for me to decide cuz it's not just my life to put into consideration; there is my parents as well. If I decide to have a normal life, living with my parents to pay off my debt--the debt that I owe them since the day I was born--then it will be very boring. Eventhough they never ask anything from me, I feel terrible because I haven't done anything to make them proud. Too much conflicts going on in my mind right now. I want to live a peaceful time, but at the same time, I don't want to be a nobody. I want to go to a big city where I can find more opportunities to strike. I want to have a more exciting and fullfill environment of living. But thinking about my dad's health make me weak :(. He's on the downhill of health, probably 2 to 3 more years to live. They are all I have right now; without them i'll be very lonely...
Idk, i'm just going sleep now. Maybe my biology teacher was right; life is all about eat + sleep + reproduce hahaha so I guess the only thing missing in my life is "reproduce" ^^
Monday, March 22, 2010
Interview questions (for Ti)
Here is the virtual interview between Ti and Mr.MM ;)
1. What activitives, duties, and work do you do every day?
MM: Main task is typing prescriptions, filling medications for pharmacist to verify, orderring and keep medications instock, keep pharmacy organize.
2. How were you trained for this career?
MM: Typically, one can go to a tech school (such as Devry, or American College,...) for an 8 month training program. They will teach you all the brand and generic names for most of the medications available on the market; they will teach you how to read a prescription. Prescription's directions are often written in sig...(a sig is a short abreviation of Latin words, for example: "1 po BID" means "Take 1 tablet(or capsule) by mouth twice a day" or "1gtt OU TID 7d" means "Instil 1 drop into both eyes three times a day for 7 days"...and there are as many sig as many directions you can think of, but there are only a few popular one :)...They will also teach you conversion for mixing IV or many other things that only have at a hospital pharmacy. But my case is a little different; like most people who have worked in the retail pharmacy as a clerk for a while, I just took the Pharmacy technician test, pass it and I became a tech.
3. What's the salary range for pharmacy technitian?
MM: As for a retail pharmacy, my rate was between 10-16 dollars per hour. Hospital pharmacy however, pay a little more between 15-18 dollars per hour. My friend, who works for Parcificare Insurrance, get paid $22/hour :)
4. What are some of the fringe benefits you enjoy?
MM: Nothing! haha I get pay for every hour I work so that's fair enough.
5. What are the positive aspects of your work?
MM: The first thing I like about being a tech is less responsibily, flexibily, and AC. It doesn't matter how hot or cold outside, the pharmacy AC is always ON; There is usually more than one tech working in the pharmacy on a day, meaning I can swap shift with my coworker if I need to come in later or earlier. Less responsibily doesn't mean careless; it simply mean I don't have to responsible for someone's well being directly; it's the job of the pharmacist to recommend/consult about medications to the patient, ensuring that correct medications are given and safe to take without interaction. Overall, pharmacist spend years of studying so they get paid well and have control over the pharmacy....but again "Great power comes great responsibilities"--Spiderman ;)
6. What are the negative about your career?
MM: Dealing with patient is a hasles. Some will be really nice, bringing us cookies/Christmas cards and stuffs...Some will cuss at us for making them wait for too long, or upset at us because their insurrance were terminated...Just name a fews
7. Is there a lot of competition to get into this field?
MM: Yes and no. Like I said before, there are more technicians in a pharmacy than pharmacists, so therefor more positions available. But since it's so easy to study, there are more people so it's getting harder to find a job.
8. What are the strongest skills a person must have to do well in this career?
MM: I would say team work. Having a great team is essential.
9. What is your next career move?
MM: Hopefully, I can become a pharmacist...a responsible one :)
10.If you had it to choose all over again, would you still enter this field? Why or why not?
MM: No. I would go to Hollywood making movies, or to be a musician or somthing that's more enjoyable
11.Where can I get more information about you career?
MM: Google
12.What advice would you give someone who is trying to enter the medical field?
MM: As any field, you have to have a compassion for your career, or at least have a conception of what you will be doing. Only choose medical field if you truely care about people health and want to make a different in someone's life, a better healthier life =)
1. What activitives, duties, and work do you do every day?
MM: Main task is typing prescriptions, filling medications for pharmacist to verify, orderring and keep medications instock, keep pharmacy organize.
2. How were you trained for this career?
MM: Typically, one can go to a tech school (such as Devry, or American College,...) for an 8 month training program. They will teach you all the brand and generic names for most of the medications available on the market; they will teach you how to read a prescription. Prescription's directions are often written in sig...(a sig is a short abreviation of Latin words, for example: "1 po BID" means "Take 1 tablet(or capsule) by mouth twice a day" or "1gtt OU TID 7d" means "Instil 1 drop into both eyes three times a day for 7 days"...and there are as many sig as many directions you can think of, but there are only a few popular one :)...They will also teach you conversion for mixing IV or many other things that only have at a hospital pharmacy. But my case is a little different; like most people who have worked in the retail pharmacy as a clerk for a while, I just took the Pharmacy technician test, pass it and I became a tech.
3. What's the salary range for pharmacy technitian?
MM: As for a retail pharmacy, my rate was between 10-16 dollars per hour. Hospital pharmacy however, pay a little more between 15-18 dollars per hour. My friend, who works for Parcificare Insurrance, get paid $22/hour :)
4. What are some of the fringe benefits you enjoy?
MM: Nothing! haha I get pay for every hour I work so that's fair enough.
5. What are the positive aspects of your work?
MM: The first thing I like about being a tech is less responsibily, flexibily, and AC. It doesn't matter how hot or cold outside, the pharmacy AC is always ON; There is usually more than one tech working in the pharmacy on a day, meaning I can swap shift with my coworker if I need to come in later or earlier. Less responsibily doesn't mean careless; it simply mean I don't have to responsible for someone's well being directly; it's the job of the pharmacist to recommend/consult about medications to the patient, ensuring that correct medications are given and safe to take without interaction. Overall, pharmacist spend years of studying so they get paid well and have control over the pharmacy....but again "Great power comes great responsibilities"--Spiderman ;)
6. What are the negative about your career?
MM: Dealing with patient is a hasles. Some will be really nice, bringing us cookies/Christmas cards and stuffs...Some will cuss at us for making them wait for too long, or upset at us because their insurrance were terminated...Just name a fews
7. Is there a lot of competition to get into this field?
MM: Yes and no. Like I said before, there are more technicians in a pharmacy than pharmacists, so therefor more positions available. But since it's so easy to study, there are more people so it's getting harder to find a job.
8. What are the strongest skills a person must have to do well in this career?
MM: I would say team work. Having a great team is essential.
9. What is your next career move?
MM: Hopefully, I can become a pharmacist...a responsible one :)
10.If you had it to choose all over again, would you still enter this field? Why or why not?
MM: No. I would go to Hollywood making movies, or to be a musician or somthing that's more enjoyable
11.Where can I get more information about you career?
MM: Google
12.What advice would you give someone who is trying to enter the medical field?
MM: As any field, you have to have a compassion for your career, or at least have a conception of what you will be doing. Only choose medical field if you truely care about people health and want to make a different in someone's life, a better healthier life =)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Fairytale (Tong Hua)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3Na7ZNoAcE
Such a beautiful song, even though I don't understand much :P but the piano rhythm nghe thánh thót hay qua. I'll learn it next, but I'm so stupidly ignorant :( cuz bài Kiss The Rain chơi mấy tháng rùi mà mới được 1/4 bài :( this one will probably take a whole year to learn :((
Such a beautiful song, even though I don't understand much :P but the piano rhythm nghe thánh thót hay qua. I'll learn it next, but I'm so stupidly ignorant :( cuz bài Kiss The Rain chơi mấy tháng rùi mà mới được 1/4 bài :( this one will probably take a whole year to learn :((
Friday, March 12, 2010
Rabbits
() ()
( '.' )
(")_(")
It's all started from a Nerf toy gun that I got for my friend's son birthday. It was fun to play with; then I wanted one for myself lol; I got a clear Bbs gun with low FPS for target shooting; then a higher FPS bbs that look/feel almost like a real gun; then I want a CO2 semi-automatic with max FPS; then a 0.22 caliber air pistol so I can actually kill small animals like birds, squirrels, and mostly rabbits...
After getting off the phone with my friend about the exciting hunting plan for the weekend, I started to wonder, what the hell am I getting into. It seems like i'm being possessed by a gun demon or something lol; that's bs! There is no such thing as a gun demon, only the human nature that craving for something else; something more than we already got, an ambitious ladder so to speak. It's not very messy to kill a rabbit; one shot and it dies right away, if not, one more in the head. But what about its family at home? What if it has babies waiting to be feed? Or what if it has a hot gf at home, wearing sexy lingerie waiting to make love? lol for whatever reason , it will never be home again. Pretty sure it will soon be forgotten cuz of the short term memory. It's just part of the wild life, feeding on each others to survive. But I'm sure I'll survive without killing a rabbit...for now
( '.' )
(")_(")
It's all started from a Nerf toy gun that I got for my friend's son birthday. It was fun to play with; then I wanted one for myself lol; I got a clear Bbs gun with low FPS for target shooting; then a higher FPS bbs that look/feel almost like a real gun; then I want a CO2 semi-automatic with max FPS; then a 0.22 caliber air pistol so I can actually kill small animals like birds, squirrels, and mostly rabbits...
After getting off the phone with my friend about the exciting hunting plan for the weekend, I started to wonder, what the hell am I getting into. It seems like i'm being possessed by a gun demon or something lol; that's bs! There is no such thing as a gun demon, only the human nature that craving for something else; something more than we already got, an ambitious ladder so to speak. It's not very messy to kill a rabbit; one shot and it dies right away, if not, one more in the head. But what about its family at home? What if it has babies waiting to be feed? Or what if it has a hot gf at home, wearing sexy lingerie waiting to make love? lol for whatever reason , it will never be home again. Pretty sure it will soon be forgotten cuz of the short term memory. It's just part of the wild life, feeding on each others to survive. But I'm sure I'll survive without killing a rabbit...for now
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Sad song
Không hiểu sao đôi lúc buồn, nghe nhac buồn lại làm cho tinh thần mình thư giãn và quên đi nỗi buồn; nhưng đôi khi lại làm mình có cảm giác buồn lại càng buồn hơn ...sigh
Monday, March 8, 2010
Hurting someone
I've been hanging out with this 19 years old girl since Christmas. I met her online, then started chatting on Yahoo, then hanging out at beach, zoo, Universal, Hollywood...she's fun to talk to, nice to hang out with, and most of all, she's very supportive & understanding :)...but other than that, there is no special feelings for her :(
The other day, my friend ask me "If you are not interested in her, why are you dating her?" ... it keeps me thinking, until today. Today I told her exactly what my friend asked me, and honestly told her what I think...she seem to be shocked, said a couples comfort words and logged off Yahoo. She then wrote a blog and telling herself not to over reacted :(
Mình chỉ muốn nói rõ để phân biệt tình bạn và tình yêu thôi, không muốn làm ai buồn. Mà cứ tiếp tục đi chơi chung, 1 trai 1 gái thì trước sao gì cũng nãy sinh tình cảm. Nếu lúc đó 1 trông 2 đứa thuơng nhau rồi phụ nhau thì còn buồn hơn nữa. Thà là dức khoác cho xong :(
I think I have issues. I tend to avoid the end-of-the-party's feeling, như 1 tiệt vui nào cũng tàn, by never creating a party. Like in relationship, I afraid to be heart broken or breaking someone heart, and end up in Lonely Land.
The other day, my friend ask me "If you are not interested in her, why are you dating her?" ... it keeps me thinking, until today. Today I told her exactly what my friend asked me, and honestly told her what I think...she seem to be shocked, said a couples comfort words and logged off Yahoo. She then wrote a blog and telling herself not to over reacted :(
Mình chỉ muốn nói rõ để phân biệt tình bạn và tình yêu thôi, không muốn làm ai buồn. Mà cứ tiếp tục đi chơi chung, 1 trai 1 gái thì trước sao gì cũng nãy sinh tình cảm. Nếu lúc đó 1 trông 2 đứa thuơng nhau rồi phụ nhau thì còn buồn hơn nữa. Thà là dức khoác cho xong :(
I think I have issues. I tend to avoid the end-of-the-party's feeling, như 1 tiệt vui nào cũng tàn, by never creating a party. Like in relationship, I afraid to be heart broken or breaking someone heart, and end up in Lonely Land.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
New year disappointment
It has been forever since I wrote here :( I guess there is nothing much different in my life eversince. Except for lately...
It's all started Feb 14th, also Jan 1st of Lunar New Year...my cousin came here with his wife for what they called their honeymoon. What the heck, they should've told me that in advance so I can have a few days off để đi dắc họ đi chơi. He is one of my closest cousin that I have. We (him, my bro, and me) growed up together since we were babies. We had endless memories of each others, somes are good memories, somes are bad ^_^ but to me, all those memories are beautiful and priceless. Now I come to realize, we are not young anymore; we're all adult now. Soon we gonna have kids, grow old, have wrinkles, and become granpas; telling our grandkids about their ancestors in Vietnam...
...But right now, I'm so fucking diappointed because I don't have time to hang out with them; I just want to have 1 or 2 days off so I can take them out for fun, but I work every day until 9pm. I'm off on Saturday and Sunday but they will be leaving by then...and what the heck am I kidding! I don't even know many fun places to go around here. Like last night, all three of us met around 10pm; we didn't know where to go, so I suggested to go to the clubs cuz I wanna be cool, clubbing and stuffs, buth what the fuck am I kidding! I haven't been to the clubs for years, I know nothing about any clubs around here. They were all closed on Monday, and we learned it the hard way by wasting time driving around, end up going home with emptiness. I'm so disappointed in myself cuz I'm unable to make any special plan for my cousin's honeymoon in California :(
It's all started Feb 14th, also Jan 1st of Lunar New Year...my cousin came here with his wife for what they called their honeymoon. What the heck, they should've told me that in advance so I can have a few days off để đi dắc họ đi chơi. He is one of my closest cousin that I have. We (him, my bro, and me) growed up together since we were babies. We had endless memories of each others, somes are good memories, somes are bad ^_^ but to me, all those memories are beautiful and priceless. Now I come to realize, we are not young anymore; we're all adult now. Soon we gonna have kids, grow old, have wrinkles, and become granpas; telling our grandkids about their ancestors in Vietnam...
...But right now, I'm so fucking diappointed because I don't have time to hang out with them; I just want to have 1 or 2 days off so I can take them out for fun, but I work every day until 9pm. I'm off on Saturday and Sunday but they will be leaving by then...and what the heck am I kidding! I don't even know many fun places to go around here. Like last night, all three of us met around 10pm; we didn't know where to go, so I suggested to go to the clubs cuz I wanna be cool, clubbing and stuffs, buth what the fuck am I kidding! I haven't been to the clubs for years, I know nothing about any clubs around here. They were all closed on Monday, and we learned it the hard way by wasting time driving around, end up going home with emptiness. I'm so disappointed in myself cuz I'm unable to make any special plan for my cousin's honeymoon in California :(
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