I kinda love these silence nights when I'm awake totally by myself in my room, without any sound, except the sound of silence and darkness. I'm not sure what it is, but it seem really peaceful. And sometimes it makes me wonder, about life/love/family...and anything else in between. Things that make perfectly no sense to me. Things that make me think people around me are crazy...
Lets start with my family, especially my dad. He's the most anti-social person I ever known. No, he's not mean. He just simply think that he's the smartest person on earth. Given any idea that someone has, he will try to find something better to out-smart that idea, even if his idea is bad, he will try to convince that his is better. Yet, it prevents him from getting along with other people cuz he thinks he's more special than others. Yet, he has to suffer from his own social disease. He doesn't have any friend around here. Even with relatives from my mom's side, who live only 30 minutes away, he doesn't like us to visit them cuz he thinks they are bad influences. I think he has a "little man syndrome" --a psychological disorder that makes make people think that they are bigger than the world :/
My mom, however, is a little different. She has a "cheap syndrome". She will keep any leftover foods in the freezer as her favorite phrase is "cover rồi để freezer" -_-, from toilet paper to napkin, electricity to water. She will turn off the water hole to droplets and leave it overnight so that there is water to use in the morning without getting charge cuz the water meter doesn't turn by droplets; She will tare a napkin in half, use it and then clean the table with it before throwing away... and most of all, she has been always longing to be old so she can collect senior social security money :(
The last person is my older brother--my only brother. I think he has a "Lonely-man syndrome" He's the kind of quiet and conservative kind of guy that would keep every thought to himself. He has been focusing very much on school; studying hard, going to the library, staying in a corner reading by himself; going home, study some more. He doesn't talk much to anyone; not a chic magnet; and have bad breath...suddenly, he met a girl at my aunt's birthday and bamm! He decided to fall in love. Quit applying to dentist school, he applied to nursing school so he can secretly move in with her. She is not in nursing, she is just an international student who need a greencard so she can stay in the US. She is not pretty, nor any special characteristic/personality standing out from others. She only have a cold sores virus that passed on to my brother after they live together, as no one in my family ever carry herpes complex virus D:
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.Anyhow, it's time for me to go back to sleep before I have a stroke at work tomorrow. I guess nobody is perfect since perfection is so objective. Yet, seeing too many issues in my family make me sad and don't know what to do. Perhaps I'm the one with issues; Perhaps I'm crazy one for seeing others' craziness. Maybe I am the one who have "cheap-lonely-littleman syndrome" :|
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Nói lén
Trời ơi! Ai biểu mình ngu, khoe cái blog với mấy người coworkers làm chi!?! đễ bây giờ muốn viết blog về công việc cũng phải viết bằng tiếng Việt cho người ta không đọc được ...kakaka
Công việc lúc này có vẽ hơi phiền phức, nhất là đối với cô dược sỹ supervisor. Mình và cô ta có nhiều bất đồng point of view, càng lúc càng nhiều thêm. Nhất là từ khi Target mướn 1 người dược sỹ đàn ông mới. My supervisor có vẽ ganh tị vì người mới làm việc tích cực và hoàn thành nhiều tasks hơn cô ta; cô ta còn ganh tị và ghét lây những người khác who like working with him. But at the same time, cô ta thích làm chung với him vì cô ta là một người bà bị chồng ly vị (divorced) nên muốn có người tình mới, mặc dầu người dược sỹ đàn ông này đã đính hôn cùng his gf. I'm so disgusted by people soemtimes, nhất là những người desperate for a relationship. Họ sẽ bất chấp thủ đoạn để thỏa mãng lòng tham của họ....
...And I think I'm one of those disgusting people also :( because I have a similar thought. I have a female friend, who already have a bf. She is trying to take a technician test and she asked me if I can help her with it; I happily said YES. I'm not sure why I am so happy to help her... is it because I like to have a closer friendship? or am I just wanting to get close to her to get into her pant? :/
You see, I have a biological hormone theory; I believe that testosterone (male hormone) and estrogen (female hormone) have adverse effect to our brain. If the hormone level is too high or low, it alter our thoughts and make us do stupid things. So I often think twice (or zoom out of my point of view, to a broader society point of view) when there is any thing that has female involve....to see if my head is in control or my dick is in control hahaha
Công việc lúc này có vẽ hơi phiền phức, nhất là đối với cô dược sỹ supervisor. Mình và cô ta có nhiều bất đồng point of view, càng lúc càng nhiều thêm. Nhất là từ khi Target mướn 1 người dược sỹ đàn ông mới. My supervisor có vẽ ganh tị vì người mới làm việc tích cực và hoàn thành nhiều tasks hơn cô ta; cô ta còn ganh tị và ghét lây những người khác who like working with him. But at the same time, cô ta thích làm chung với him vì cô ta là một người bà bị chồng ly vị (divorced) nên muốn có người tình mới, mặc dầu người dược sỹ đàn ông này đã đính hôn cùng his gf. I'm so disgusted by people soemtimes, nhất là những người desperate for a relationship. Họ sẽ bất chấp thủ đoạn để thỏa mãng lòng tham của họ....
...And I think I'm one of those disgusting people also :( because I have a similar thought. I have a female friend, who already have a bf. She is trying to take a technician test and she asked me if I can help her with it; I happily said YES. I'm not sure why I am so happy to help her... is it because I like to have a closer friendship? or am I just wanting to get close to her to get into her pant? :/
You see, I have a biological hormone theory; I believe that testosterone (male hormone) and estrogen (female hormone) have adverse effect to our brain. If the hormone level is too high or low, it alter our thoughts and make us do stupid things. So I often think twice (or zoom out of my point of view, to a broader society point of view) when there is any thing that has female involve....to see if my head is in control or my dick is in control hahaha
Sunday, July 4, 2010
waiting for...
my mom occasionally-constantly-randomly asking me "When are you going to be done with school?" and I answer "I am waiting" ...."waiting for what?" she said, and I just walk away in silence :(
I don't know. I don't know what the hell am I waiting for. Every since my dad had the heart failure thing, and the doctor told us that his heart failure will eventually getting worse in a few years, my career plan was temporary paused. I guess I'm waiting for his heart disease to go away--along with him. I guess I'm trying to make enough money to help my mom with all the bills and expenses, to put less pressure on her shoulder; to waiting for my brother graduating from nursing school so he can help us financially; and the most importance of all, I'm waiting for a meaning of my life--a passion, a believe, a goal, or a soul mate, that make me wanna live for forever and die for together.
Taking about soul mate, I think no one on earth would understand me cuz I'm usually be a little too quiet; I often don't expressed my feelings verbally like many people. I'm amazed how people can sugar coated every word they say and get away with it. My coworker for instance, he can sugar coated everything he says, even though he doesn't give a sheit behind their back; yet, people think he's charming :o
Anyhow, I still believe that at least, there is one person somewhere on earth who can see all the goodness in me, not by words or cho't luoi da`u moi, but simply by the look on her eyes and a beautiful smile that brighten up my days of...waiting
I don't know. I don't know what the hell am I waiting for. Every since my dad had the heart failure thing, and the doctor told us that his heart failure will eventually getting worse in a few years, my career plan was temporary paused. I guess I'm waiting for his heart disease to go away--along with him. I guess I'm trying to make enough money to help my mom with all the bills and expenses, to put less pressure on her shoulder; to waiting for my brother graduating from nursing school so he can help us financially; and the most importance of all, I'm waiting for a meaning of my life--a passion, a believe, a goal, or a soul mate, that make me wanna live for forever and die for together.
Taking about soul mate, I think no one on earth would understand me cuz I'm usually be a little too quiet; I often don't expressed my feelings verbally like many people. I'm amazed how people can sugar coated every word they say and get away with it. My coworker for instance, he can sugar coated everything he says, even though he doesn't give a sheit behind their back; yet, people think he's charming :o
Anyhow, I still believe that at least, there is one person somewhere on earth who can see all the goodness in me, not by words or cho't luoi da`u moi, but simply by the look on her eyes and a beautiful smile that brighten up my days of...waiting
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