...what the fuck!
I don't understand! maybe it's something not for understanding purpose. I have that anxiety, again! Let's start from the beginning...
I have been entering in business for a while now, almost a year. Been partnering with a more experience broker. She is fairly young, well, 8 years older than me, has 2 kids. Her husband is absence oversea for some legal issue. For that very reason, I always trying to keep a distance from her, physically and emotionally. We never touch, never joking or flirting around. Sometimes thought, I feel her pain and sorrow. Single mom, taking care 2 kids, supporting the whole family and husband oversea. I think sometimes she feel lost and relying on religious to keep her spirit strong. Especially in the business field, that not an easy task. Occasionally, I try to inspire her by giving her recognition.
But lately, something may happen... but anyhow, not my business...
I'm standing on the sideline, as a third person, observing as a movies unfold. But one thing I don't understand... why am I having a rush of anxiety, hotflush, and emotionally about it. Whatever happening is none of my business. but I can't focus. I feel worry, nervous, uneasy and my thoughts wandering. I think, I am jealousing... WHY?
Right now, as I am thinking more about it, I'm more confused. Perhaps, it's nothing but the FEAR OF LOST. Maybe that's it!! It is not feelings or any of those fairy tale stuffs, just a psychological behavior associated to FEAR OF LOST, wooohoo! mystery solved .......i think
