Pussy

No, I'm not talking about actual pussy haha; I just referring myself as a pussy :( *sigh*
I sold my car today. First, I thought my price was rock bottom low already, until they made a counter offer for $200 less and I took it. Then I felt weak cuz I wasn't firm enough. It's not much about the money, but I just hate myself for not being strong to withstand my decision as I told my mom and myself how much I would willing to sell it for. As my supervisor(pharmacist) used to tell me "Min, you need to be firm" cuz I usually let emotion interfere my decision; for example, I tell people that their medication will be ready in 15 minutes, people usually say they have to do that or to do this "can you do it in 5 minutes?" and I usually answer "Sure no problem" and rush my ass off to get it done :(

"Sell high, buy low" that is how people alway wanted. That's how the business world operate. And I'm no match for the busy world out there; I'm always hiding in my comfort zone or behind the counter :(

(Sorry T if you're reading this hahaha. I'm not dragging about it or anything, just some thoughts I want to get off my mind ya know ^_^ I think the price is worth buying/selling drive careful and good luck in school)

my inconsistent

I once was told that weakness can be turning into invincible strength. I think it's only apply to those who already have mental strength and consistent...but my weakness is lack of consistent :( school half done, hobbies half done, career half done, piano songs half done, love half done (actually didn't even started lol) ...and that's the thing. I wonder how is it like to welcome someone into my life and keep flame of love consistent for the years to come. what if I can't keep up with it and give up bail out :( I guess i'm just thinking too much . I don't know what have gotten into my mind; maybe just a stage of minds where the puzzle of life is breaking down part by part and reconnect them one by one to make a meaning out of it

Respond to "That October"

So I went to see the new Shrek movies today. It was pretty good; though, there was some moment I felt like they (the film makers) were trying too hard to impress the audiences by adding too many extra scenes, but overall it was entertaining to watch. Not to spoil the movies, but I think the main message of the movies is very meaningful. We --as mankind- usually don't appreciate the the present; some will always longing at unrealistic dream of the future; some will always looking at the unerasable past and regret; yet the moment of living is right now, at this very moment, with that very special people that we're having :) ...so I thought about "That October"
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. (I was thinking of writing a longer respond, but I'm having a bad migraine lol ...later Km :)

the END

So while I was stranded in my cold and silence room last night, my brain started spinning and spinning around like computer hard drive; keep thinking and thinking unconsciously. There were thoughts, and there were blank thoughts lol...they all come and go so randomly. Then, there were spiritual thoughts, some thoughts I've put in a movies called Outsourced that I watched a few days ago. It's a modern Indian romantic comedy...i'm not going to go detail into the movies, but there was a very short segment about Gods in India. They have a Gods in India called "Gods of destruction" where they basically believe that destruction of any matter on the universe is good thing; because if there is no ending, there wouldn't be a new beginning... which is perfectly make sense :)
I guess, the idea of "Gods of destruction" inspire me in some ways, not in a destructive way of course, but in a motivated way. A motivation to move on and leave everything ended bad behind because if there's no ending, there wouldn't be a new beginning. If there is no ending to a bad crush hihi there wouldn't be a new crush; if there is no ending to a job, there wouldn't be a new better job-- if it's not better, then end it and start a new beginning. Better or worse, change is always good, don't look back at a bad ending and regret, but rather look at it and smiling for a new future :)

Now, for people of the Middle E who always at wars creating chaos <--- that's stupid! :/

old dreams

Perception is something strange to me; maybe because I am still not mature enough, or maybe at different stage of age, my perception changes. Not too long ago, I had a goal--an unrealistic goal--I wanted to become famous, famous up to a point I can appear on televions e.g. FOX, ABC, CBS, ect...or any shows as long as it's on TV lol. I knew it would take years or even my whole life to get there, or I won't even make it there :/ but I wanted to take a chance; a chance to be on national televion to tell J that I luv her and always been luving her seen the time I met her...but like ppl usually say "Time is the best medicine for healing a broken heart" Haven't met her for 5 years, her image is blurry and almost disappear in my mind. I don't remember much about her pretty eyes, her pretty smile, and her pretty voice as I used to...những cảm giác đó dzường như đã phai nhòa đi theo thời gian, như những bước chân đi trên các đang bị nước biễn cuống đi...
Another dream that I had was to build a bridge for my people in Vietnam where I grew up. It's so sad to think about living condition in many poor developing countries; can't even affort a concrete bridge for people...nói tới đây, bỗng dưng tôi cảm thấy nhớ quê hương tha thiết :( ...(to be continued)

my sin

I really hate it when buddism call something is a sin but never really explain why it is considerred a sin. I guess it's up to ourself to figure it out, rather than depending on the bible as a dictionary of sinful stuffs. Through out my whole life I think I don't have many sins to worry about. Little that I know, I commited a sin since I was 15 :( ...SEX, it's all about sex. Since the dawn of time, to the modern time, many problems were originated from sex. Sex is everywhere, internet, magazine, movies, clubs bars, literature, history...and I was exposed to sexual contents on cables tv at the age of 15. Not only that, I ripped off some pages of Playboy megazine and stole it from my cousin OMG. I guess I was young and stupid (I'm still young and stupid lol) couldn't control myself. Plus, it was forbidden and I love the unforbidden the forbidden lol. I don't have enough evidences to relate watching porno to my shy behavior; but I can tell that they are close related as a cause and effect :(. I guess it makes me shy and flushed to be around girls because all the dirty things I seen, even when I was with the girl of my dream, who I really care and adored. But couldn't be with her, my world was falling apart; no more interested in school, no more future, no more luv, no more anything, nothing is matter without her...but now, when reality strike, I need to take care of my parents. I need to provide everything they need; I want to have them experience a luxurious life while it last; want to make them proud...but I'm still not be able to accomplish :(

These are sensitive thoughts that I've never told anyone. I wish there's someone who I can open up and tell everything without worrying about making myself look bad or imperfect; with no judgment; only with understanding, comforts, soft and gentle to hold on tight to feel each other's heart beats ~_~

(ok, it's time for my late night porno again) lol jk :D

Tinh Yeu --karaoke

minh không thích karaoke at home chút nào hết, không thể max out volume róng cho đã miệng được :( ...but it's ok, just some random moment anyway. This is just a trial recording to see how it is with recording voice and music separately; music is great, vocal sucks hahaha

Tình yêu là vết dao đâm vào tim
Tình yêu là những nhát roi bầm tím
Tình yêu là đoá hoa nhưng nhiều gai
Tình yêu là nỗi mê say trong đời .

Biết thế sao vẫn tìm đến
Đến với yêu thương trọn kiếp
Chẳng biết chẳng biết vì sao ???

Tình yêu là khât khao mong gần nhau
Tình yêu là nhớ thương quên ngày tháng
Tình yêu là chết cho người mình yêu
Tình yêu là sống cho nhau muôn đời ...