looking ahead

No matter what I do, I usually have a picture or vision of whatever i'm doing, and what the result is going to be...but somehow, I can't see anything when it comes to my future. Everything just goes blank in my mind, like walking in the dark with no flash light. I don't know what will come tomorrow, and I don't want to know. The biggest challenge I'm facing right now is my family health. As of today, my dad is not feeling well again. He felt weak, swelling, and worry about his heart failure is coming back like it happened last year, which rushed him to the ER room, and cost a fortune since none of us have health insurance :(
It's a dominoes effect. My dad's problem makes my mom worry, and also make me worry, and my brother worries even though he seems to be cold, but I know deep down inside my brother is very emotional person even though he never show it or say it. I'm glad hat my brother has been accepted to LB university. But I'm a little worry that nursing is not a good major that fit his personality. But that is what he "thinks" gonna work for him so I respect that. Hopefully he can go through with school soon and help me out taking care of my parents, both physical and financial, because i'm a little tired as of everything is put on my shoulder. I thinking of getting a full time job right now to make my family expense a little more comfortable. I'm currently working semi-full time and it seems to be a little tight financially. But if I start working full time, I will have to throw away my school, which I'm not really what I want/can do beside pharmacy anyway...
Beside of throwing away school, I will also throw away the chance of meeting my soul mate at school ^_^ because I always have a feeling that I will meet my gf at school, as I met Jlo...aw good old Jlo, I always love Jlo, no matter where she is, who she is with, I wish she's always happy, healthy, and pretty. "Good nite Jen!"

being thất tình

damn, today is so gloomy. That's abnormal Cali weather for June. I'm so thất tình ...lol


caffeine diet is still on, went to bed early last night, waking up early today, feeling gud...day 2

The only piano song I know

Bored, sneak in my brother room, messing with his piano, playing Fur Elise


still on caffeine diet

My caffeine addiction ...commitment to quit day 1

I have a very bad habit :(
I keep drinking Energy drinks, starbucks, coke, or pepsi...and end up couldn't going to sleep. Stay up late until 3,4,5am then waking up very late in the morning and constantly feel tired from the hang over. Energy drinks are the worst. They are poison. They increase chance of having heart attack, diabetic, kidney stones, blocking calcium uptake to build bones, weakening muscle tissues, and last but not least...feeling horny lol

I understand all those negative affects, but I can't hold it, keep buying energy drinks every time I stop by a gas station. I drank so many, so that I have 3 big trash bags full of empty energy cans. I need to make a commitment to myself to quit energy drinks, or any caffeine drinks for that matters. Begin from today 3:40am Friday, June 2009 my caffeine diet begins...do it or die!

Minh Minh singling singing blink-a-blink