good deeds

so I found her twitter account couple days ago. Unlike her bf, she is not a twitter addict lol, only a few old tweet from last month. I wanted to follow her, but I soon realized that it's a bad idea cuz we haven't met for 5 years, OMG 5 FKKING YEARS! I wonder if she still remember me!?! hopefully she still have a good memory of me...but remember what? We barely knew each other for a month; only the deep look in her eyes and the pretty smile :) ...that's all I remember
OMG, I can't believe that I'm still sitting here writing about some stupid moment of 5 years ago. This is so fuking lame! half of my heart is gone; not exactly gone but remain frozen, until someone special come into my life and warm it up. Either way, I don't want to sound like a stalker, but I secretly wish that she's happy. Love is complicated sometimes; sometimes loving someone is just making someone happy, regardless of who they are with; that's including sucking up all the stupid problems on myself. Like the other day, my neighbor blackmailed me money for a minor accident between him and my dad when they were backing up their cars and hit each other. I agreed to pay for it secretly so my dad won't get mad, as he having heart problem already. Or the other day when I was driving to my friend house to install the car alarm for him, I got a ticket and he hasn't pay for it nor the alarm's cost. Or when I'm paying for my cellphone bills, including my brother's gf's line so she can max out the minutes -I hope she's not cheating on him or using him :/

Keeping all the problems to myself, I think someday I'll exploded with anger and frustration. I'll probably hop on a train and runaway. But until then, I have to deal with it for now. Oh, and whenever I feel unlucky or feel like I've done something good, I buy a lottery ...who knows maybe I'll win (well lets hope) :)