Letter to my grandchildren

" Dear grandchildren,
As of today May 28th of 2009, we haven't invented a time machine yet. Ours current technology is still not intelligent enough to create a time hole to communicate back and forth in time. So if you (my grand kids) receive this message, don't be hesitate to send me the invention of time machine. Or at least send me the lottery number for tomorrow so I can win the lottery tomorrow lol"

lol, I think people would call me crazy if they read this, but I think time machine will never exist, or at least in my life-time because if it does, I would go back in time to enhance my life, or I'll leave a will for my grandkids to do it lol. Or maybe, I don't have grandchildren, or maybe the world is ending soon (2012?), or maybe I will die young :(, or maybe I will always be single forever :(... But there is must be some actions to initiate the concept.

As for pursuing my dream, it's a shame to say that I like acting but I don't know where to initiate it. My brother laughed at me when I told him I want to move to LA and pursue a career in acting. My mom laughed at me when I told her I like acting. My grandma & auntie would be very disappointed in me if I ever told them I like acting. They always want me to be "bac si, ky su, nha si" as it's a typical traditional Viet goals, and I'm very sick of it. But I'm afraid to loose my fear, the fear I always have when I'm in a big social group. The fear of leaving my home and the comfort of my own family blanket. The fear that I wouldn't be able to survive in street LA by myself with no friend, no connection, no money. Fear that I'm going to be a nameless actor like thousands of others actors and actresses. Fear that I have nothing to offer, no experience. Fear that I can't support my family, especially my parents as they are getting older every day and I can't provide a stable financial support. Fuck this current situation! Fucking hate it! Fucking hate myself keep procrastinating and day dreaming. Fuck life! fuck Jlo for calling me a nerd. Fucking hate her! Fucking miss her! Geez I wish I can hold her right now, hold her tight, stare at her eyes and feel her lip awww...life, love, education, what a mess! fuck me!