When I look at you, I can see thruough you;
when I listen you, I can understand you;
when I smell you, I can scent you;
when I touch you, I can feel you;
and when I lick you, I can taste you...put it all together, I can understand all about you, or at least 99% about you, but sometimes I feel like I know nothing about myself :(
Sometimes I wonder who am I? Am I a jerk or not a jerk? am I being nice and polited everyday is because it's who I am or just a fake front that I put on myself as a what has been defined as "good" by the society?... Do I really like working in the healthcare industry because I really care about people health, or just to make money and stable income? Have I ever really loved any one for unconditional reasons, or just because they brought benefits to my life? Have I ever have a real passion, or just something I would like to do because of a better outlook? Have I ever fall in love, or it was just a missed opportunity that I just want to go back in time a grasp it? Have I ever love a girl, or it's just a hormone thing which make me horny and craving for sex? I need to be drunk or something to see myself :(
When I thing about life, what is life, or what is the purpose of life and stuffs, I often get lost and fallen asleep. Think Minh, think!
(làm gì thì làm, đi ngủ rồi mai tính ^_^)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
There's something about J-lo
So I watched an old comedy movies today called “There’s Something About Mary" (1998)
I'm not a big fan of Ben Stiller's movies, but this movies was kinda ironicly funny. The guy in the movies had a crush on a girl since high school prom. He never met her again for 13 years, but he still keep thinking of her every day. He hired a spy to stalk on her, then the spy started having obsession about her, then it turned out there are couple more guys having absession about her. They all have one thing in common; they are all stalkers lol.
It's funny because I'm a stalker too lol, a harmless one of course :)
Every since I had the obsession for Jen(J-lo) couple years ago (5 years to be exact), I keep thinking about her every minute, every second, every day. I don't know what I think, but I just think. Think about some happy memories, happy moments, think about her cute smile, shiny eyes, fuzzy hair, or even about acne on her face lol...then back reality, wonder what is she doing? How is her architect school? Whom is she with? Is she happy? How would it be now if I had make a move 5 years ago? Who will bring more happiness to her? me or him? ...somehow, I got a feeling that she is being with her current bf just to avoid other guys hitting on her because the guy is a pure Christian guy who commits never have sex until he married. I wonder if she really like him, or she just waiting for someone... someone who gave her some chocolate and Christmas card to make her happy :) someone whom starred at each other eyes until the door slowly shutted.
Movies is a big fat liar compare to reality. Every movies has a happy ending, no matter how long they wait for each others. But in reality, every day of missing someone is a cloudy day, full of sorrow and sadness. 1825days=43800hrs=2628000 minutes of day-dreaming lol. Maybe I just Email her (liftmy...@) and tell her hahaha...yeh no, getting email from someone who haven't talked to for 5 years in a little creepy, isn't it? lol
I'm not a big fan of Ben Stiller's movies, but this movies was kinda ironicly funny. The guy in the movies had a crush on a girl since high school prom. He never met her again for 13 years, but he still keep thinking of her every day. He hired a spy to stalk on her, then the spy started having obsession about her, then it turned out there are couple more guys having absession about her. They all have one thing in common; they are all stalkers lol.
It's funny because I'm a stalker too lol, a harmless one of course :)
Every since I had the obsession for Jen(J-lo) couple years ago (5 years to be exact), I keep thinking about her every minute, every second, every day. I don't know what I think, but I just think. Think about some happy memories, happy moments, think about her cute smile, shiny eyes, fuzzy hair, or even about acne on her face lol...then back reality, wonder what is she doing? How is her architect school? Whom is she with? Is she happy? How would it be now if I had make a move 5 years ago? Who will bring more happiness to her? me or him? ...somehow, I got a feeling that she is being with her current bf just to avoid other guys hitting on her because the guy is a pure Christian guy who commits never have sex until he married. I wonder if she really like him, or she just waiting for someone... someone who gave her some chocolate and Christmas card to make her happy :) someone whom starred at each other eyes until the door slowly shutted.
Movies is a big fat liar compare to reality. Every movies has a happy ending, no matter how long they wait for each others. But in reality, every day of missing someone is a cloudy day, full of sorrow and sadness. 1825days=43800hrs=2628000 minutes of day-dreaming lol. Maybe I just Email her (liftmy...@) and tell her hahaha...yeh no, getting email from someone who haven't talked to for 5 years in a little creepy, isn't it? lol
Monday, June 22, 2009
looking ahead
No matter what I do, I usually have a picture or vision of whatever i'm doing, and what the result is going to be...but somehow, I can't see anything when it comes to my future. Everything just goes blank in my mind, like walking in the dark with no flash light. I don't know what will come tomorrow, and I don't want to know. The biggest challenge I'm facing right now is my family health. As of today, my dad is not feeling well again. He felt weak, swelling, and worry about his heart failure is coming back like it happened last year, which rushed him to the ER room, and cost a fortune since none of us have health insurance :(
It's a dominoes effect. My dad's problem makes my mom worry, and also make me worry, and my brother worries even though he seems to be cold, but I know deep down inside my brother is very emotional person even though he never show it or say it. I'm glad hat my brother has been accepted to LB university. But I'm a little worry that nursing is not a good major that fit his personality. But that is what he "thinks" gonna work for him so I respect that. Hopefully he can go through with school soon and help me out taking care of my parents, both physical and financial, because i'm a little tired as of everything is put on my shoulder. I thinking of getting a full time job right now to make my family expense a little more comfortable. I'm currently working semi-full time and it seems to be a little tight financially. But if I start working full time, I will have to throw away my school, which I'm not really what I want/can do beside pharmacy anyway...
Beside of throwing away school, I will also throw away the chance of meeting my soul mate at school ^_^ because I always have a feeling that I will meet my gf at school, as I met Jlo...aw good old Jlo, I always love Jlo, no matter where she is, who she is with, I wish she's always happy, healthy, and pretty. "Good nite Jen!"
It's a dominoes effect. My dad's problem makes my mom worry, and also make me worry, and my brother worries even though he seems to be cold, but I know deep down inside my brother is very emotional person even though he never show it or say it. I'm glad hat my brother has been accepted to LB university. But I'm a little worry that nursing is not a good major that fit his personality. But that is what he "thinks" gonna work for him so I respect that. Hopefully he can go through with school soon and help me out taking care of my parents, both physical and financial, because i'm a little tired as of everything is put on my shoulder. I thinking of getting a full time job right now to make my family expense a little more comfortable. I'm currently working semi-full time and it seems to be a little tight financially. But if I start working full time, I will have to throw away my school, which I'm not really what I want/can do beside pharmacy anyway...
Beside of throwing away school, I will also throw away the chance of meeting my soul mate at school ^_^ because I always have a feeling that I will meet my gf at school, as I met Jlo...aw good old Jlo, I always love Jlo, no matter where she is, who she is with, I wish she's always happy, healthy, and pretty. "Good nite Jen!"
Saturday, June 13, 2009
being thất tình
damn, today is so gloomy. That's abnormal Cali weather for June. I'm so thất tình ...lol
Friday, June 12, 2009
The only piano song I know
Bored, sneak in my brother room, messing with his piano, playing Fur Elise
My caffeine addiction ...commitment to quit day 1
I have a very bad habit :(
I keep drinking Energy drinks, starbucks, coke, or pepsi...and end up couldn't going to sleep. Stay up late until 3,4,5am then waking up very late in the morning and constantly feel tired from the hang over. Energy drinks are the worst. They are poison. They increase chance of having heart attack, diabetic, kidney stones, blocking calcium uptake to build bones, weakening muscle tissues, and last but not least...feeling horny lol
I understand all those negative affects, but I can't hold it, keep buying energy drinks every time I stop by a gas station. I drank so many, so that I have 3 big trash bags full of empty energy cans. I need to make a commitment to myself to quit energy drinks, or any caffeine drinks for that matters. Begin from today 3:40am Friday, June 2009 my caffeine diet begins...do it or die!
I keep drinking Energy drinks, starbucks, coke, or pepsi...and end up couldn't going to sleep. Stay up late until 3,4,5am then waking up very late in the morning and constantly feel tired from the hang over. Energy drinks are the worst. They are poison. They increase chance of having heart attack, diabetic, kidney stones, blocking calcium uptake to build bones, weakening muscle tissues, and last but not least...feeling horny lol
I understand all those negative affects, but I can't hold it, keep buying energy drinks every time I stop by a gas station. I drank so many, so that I have 3 big trash bags full of empty energy cans. I need to make a commitment to myself to quit energy drinks, or any caffeine drinks for that matters. Begin from today 3:40am Friday, June 2009 my caffeine diet begins...do it or die!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
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